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It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children's actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children's actions. v. 1
Axiomatically, the upbringing of the youth hinges, in a large part, on the parents. Therefore, it is highly agreed that punitive measures should be imposed on parents due to the wrongdoings of the minors. In this essay, it will be analysed via allowing for the responsibilities of parents regarding controlling and duties to direct the offspring towards a vocation. It is undeniable that a vast majority of juvenile delinquencies are considered to be the inevitable corollary of parents’ negligence in being aware of their son or daughter’s actions, mainly friends. For example, children might be exposed to a breach of law under the adverse influence of the fellows, to be more precise, peer pressure. Thus, it is felt that parents deserve to be blamed, as the onus is on parents to get acquainted with the people adjacent to their kids. In fact, the reason behind misdemeanour accomplished by children proves to be parents’ failing to engage them with an activity suitable for their capabilities and accomplishments. Provided minors were directed at their preferred type of sport or vocation there would not be a probability of young infringements. An eminent football player named Leonel Messi’s youth period might be the ultimate in the crucial roles of parents in terms of assisting their offspring to locate their own place in the community. He reported that he would not be the current Messi without his parents. Hence, it is largely endorsed that parents should be punished for their children’s actions which are in contravention of the law. In summary, it can be concluded that parents should be prone to a punishment, inasmuch as they are felt to be culpable for a lack of surveillance and inattentiveness towards the future of their children. As a result of punishment, it is expected that kids will be under rigid control of their parents.
Axiomatically
, the upbringing of the youth hinges, in a large part, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
, it is
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that punitive measures should
be imposed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
due to the wrongdoings of the minors. In this essay, it will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
via allowing for the responsibilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
regarding controlling and duties to direct the offspring towards a vocation.

It is undeniable that a vast majority of juvenile delinquencies
are considered
to be the inevitable corollary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
negligence in being aware of their son or daughter’s actions,
mainly
friends.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might
be exposed
to a breach of law under the adverse influence of the fellows, to be more precise, peer pressure.
Thus
, it
is felt
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
deserve to
be blamed
, as the onus is on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
adjacent to their kids.

In fact, the reason behind
Possible spelling mistake found.
misdemeanour
accomplished by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
proves to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
failing to engage them with an activity suitable for their capabilities and accomplishments. Provided minors
were directed
at their preferred type of sport or vocation there would not be a probability of young infringements. An eminent football player named Leonel Messi’s youth period might be the ultimate in the crucial roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in terms of assisting their offspring to locate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place in the community. He reported that he would not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Messi without his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Hence
, it is
largely
endorsed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be punished
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
actions which are in contravention of the law.

In summary, it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be prone to a punishment, inasmuch as they
are felt
to be culpable for a lack of surveillance and inattentiveness towards the future of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
of punishment, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that kids will be under rigid control of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children's actions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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