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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.16

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 16
It is argued that the government has to spend money to take care of old people, given that in Britain, senior citizens tend to live in a place with other people of the same age where nurses are present to take care of them. This essay disagrees with that statement because it is the responsibility of children and it also increases the burden on the country's economy. A good reason for the family to take care of their old people is that, it is their responsibility to pay for their parents. That is to say that parents sacrifice many things for their children and work hard to give a beautiful life for them and therefore everyone must look after their parents during their old age. For instance, the government of India recently passed an order to its citizens stating that it is a punishable offense if the offspring do not take care of their parents. Another point to consider is that, it reduces stress on the nation's economy. In other words, if the family took care of their old people, the government could save a huge amount of money, which ultimately enhances the financial status of that nation. The apparent corollary of this is that, they can utilize this money and implement more welfare schemes for poor and needy. For instance, a recent article published in TimesNow newspaper, which is the largest circulated daily newspaper in India and also renowned for its accuracy and fairness, stated that India's economy was increased by 5% in the year 2020 after they implemented a rule that offspring should look after their parent’s expenses. In conclusion, the family should bear the expenses of their old age parents because it is their duty and it also mitigates the burden on the nation's economy.
It
is argued
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend money to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that in Britain, senior citizens tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a place with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the same age where nurses are present to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them. This essay disagrees with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the responsibility of children and it
also
increases the burden on the country's economy.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason for the family to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that, it is their responsibility to pay for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
That is
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
sacrifice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things for their children and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
life for them and
therefore
everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India recently passed an order to its citizens stating that it is a punishable offense if the offspring do not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their parents.

Another point to consider is that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the nation's economy.
In other words
, if the family took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could save a huge amount of money, which
ultimately
enhances the financial status of that nation. The apparent corollary of this is that, they can utilize this money and implement more welfare schemes for poor and needy.
For instance
, a recent article published in
Possible spelling mistake found.
TimesNow
newspaper, which is the largest circulated daily newspaper in India and
also
renowned for its accuracy and fairness, stated that India's economy
was increased
by 5% in the year 2020 after they implemented a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
that offspring should look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
expenses.

In conclusion
, the family should bear the expenses of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is their duty and it
also
mitigates the burden on the nation's economy.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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