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In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate whith peoplevia internet without any face-to-face contact with others. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate whith peoplevia internet without any face-to-face contact with others. v. 1
The global phenomenon of modernization since the beginning of the technological revolution to the present day has brought a huge range of opportunities and prosperities. I totally assert that face-to-face communication in conversing, working and buying might be foiled by technology, the evidence of it will be covered in the essay. Since the introduction of improvement of technology world has become much easier and smaller place. Because of using social networks allows people receiving and sending information much faster wherever they are. The most vivid example would be social networking websites which are considered key factors to refrain from face-to-face communication in some part of people's social life, such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter can be immensely convenient for the consumers to purchase from anywhere in the world. As a result account for the kind of social websites necessity of face-to-face contact can be eliminated. It does not necessarily mean that using the internet during working and communicating always be comfortable and interesting for all people, albeit social networks are essential factors in people's life. Since despite the high standard of technological development, there are some people who prefer to converse naturally with others. For instance, older generation might be not accustomed to work, shop and communicate by phone or computer. In that case, some people would not support opportunities of the technology. All things considered, although using the phone may sometimes seem unhelpful in modern life for senior citizens, I believe the internet can be much more paramount recourse to buy, work and converse rather than face-to-communication.
The global phenomenon of modernization since the beginning of the technological revolution to the present day has brought a huge range of opportunities and
Possible spelling mistake found.
prosperities
. I
totally
assert that face-to-face communication in conversing, working and buying might
be foiled
by technology, the evidence of it will
be covered
in the essay.

Since the introduction of improvement of technology world has become much easier and smaller place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
receiving and sending information much faster wherever they are. The most vivid example would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites which
are considered
key factors to refrain from face-to-face communication in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life, such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter can be
immensely
convenient for the consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from anywhere in the world.
As a result
account for the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "websites'" or "website's"?
websites
necessity of face-to-face contact can
be eliminated
.

It does not
necessarily
mean that using the internet during working and communicating always be comfortable and interesting for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, albeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks are essential factors in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. Since despite the high standard of technological development, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to converse
naturally
with others.
For instance
, older generation might be not accustomed to work, shop and communicate by phone or computer.
In that case
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not support opportunities of the technology.

All things considered, although using the phone may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
seem unhelpful in modern life for senior citizens, I believe the internet can be much more paramount recourse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, work and converse
rather
than face-to-communication.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate whith peoplevia internet without any face-to-face contact with others. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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