Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is well known that most of people cannot live without music. This essay will explain what makes music essential for human beings and what the most popular music styles are today. v.1

It is well known that most of people cannot live without music. This essay will explain what makes music essential for human beings and what the most popular music styles are today. v. 1
It is well known that most of people cannot live without music. This essay will explain what makes music essential for human beings and what the most popular music styles are today. Firstly, music can make us feel happy in some specific situations such as parties or ceremonies, it can make us feel relaxed while we are seated at home or in a café and it can make us feel energetic while we are training because it can give us the right rhythm. Secondly, music accompanies us during long trips, helping us to stay focused while we are driving. For instance, I usually listen to rock and pop-music while I am commuting to work by car in order to get some positive energy and in order to stay awake on early mornings. If have to say which music styles are most popular nowadays, I will say pop and disco, as most people are attracted by the music exported by American music companies. On the other hand, some people are interested in local or traditional music as it helps them to stay connected to the place they grow up. My cousin Alfredo for instance, together with his friends always organize local music festivals in their hometown in order to promote and keep stronger the influence of local music. In conclusion, there are no doubts about the importance of music in peoples ‘life, no matter of which kind of music people are interested in. Nevertheless, different style of music can lead to different reactions such as feeling happy or feeling relaxed
It is well known that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
essential for human beings and what the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
styles are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us feel happy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific situations such as parties or ceremonies, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us feel relaxed while we
are seated
at home or in a café and it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us feel energetic while we are training
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can give us the right rhythm.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
accompanies us during long trips, helping us to stay focused while we are driving.
For instance
, I
usually
listen to rock and pop-music while I am commuting to work by car in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
energy and in order to stay awake on early mornings.

If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
styles are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
popular nowadays, I will say pop and disco, as most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
exported by American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in local or traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to stay connected to the place they grow up. My cousin Alfredo
for instance
, together with his friends always organize local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
festivals in their hometown in order to promote and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
stronger the influence of local music.

In conclusion
, there are no doubts about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
‘life, no matter of which kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reactions such as feeling happy or feeling relaxed
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay It is well known that most of people cannot live without music. This essay will explain what makes music essential for human beings and what the most popular music styles are today. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts