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It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct(eg. Dinosaur, dodos. . ). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct(eg. Dinosaur, dodos. . ). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. v. 1
In ancient times, several species have extinct due to geographical changes, natural disasters, and changing sea-level, like dinosaurs. It seems that all those gigantic animals' disappearance is a mere process of the devastation of nature, but I, holistically, disagree with this viewpoint owing to the human's unnatural behaviour towards wild animals, which should be stopped by them. To begin with, men are using the animals of the forest for their purposes, as in medicine, structuring furniture so that animals wipe out substantially. It destroys not only the eco-system, but also human lives. For example, if any, of the animals does not exist, the food chain disrupts, which may, eventually, help to starve other animals, and even plants too suffer from this unnatural process. Moreover, for the growing excessive amount of food, naturally, farmers are clearing many wild habitats, which, although helps to produce plenty of crops, it succours some of the animals the most endangered species. Similarly, people create lots of objects with the recourse of wild animals. This is because it enhances the beauty of the houses by decorating, exotic furniture made up of the bone of animals. For instance, the Rhinos' bones and skins are pretty much strong and long-lasting, so that carpenters chose to build bags, carpets, beds, to name but a few. However, killing these precious animals, only a few rhinos exist today. For that reason, people have to prevent all the endangered species. Besides, they need to make aware people by organizing seminars, investing money in researchers, which would invariably, instigates people to discover alternatives. In conclusion, it is understandable that in past decades, most of the species used to wipe out for the natural process of the climate, but some man-made activities are also considered as one of the main culprits of the extinction, which I believe that human beings must stop this by taking countermeasure.
In ancient times, several species have extinct due to geographical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, natural disasters, and changing sea-level, like dinosaurs. It seems that all those gigantic animals' disappearance is a mere process of the devastation of nature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I,
holistically
, disagree with this viewpoint owing to the human's unnatural
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
towards wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
of the forest for their purposes, as in medicine, structuring furniture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
wipe out
substantially
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-system
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, if any, of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
does not exist, the food chain disrupts, which may,
eventually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to starve other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and even plants
Did you mean "to suffer"?
too suffer
from this unnatural process.
Moreover
, for the growing excessive amount of food,
naturally
, farmers are clearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wild habitats, which, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of crops, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
succours
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
the most endangered species.

Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
create lots of objects with the recourse of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enhances the beauty of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
by decorating, exotic furniture made up of the bone of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For instance
, the Rhinos' bones and skins are pretty much strong and long-lasting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that carpenters chose to build bags, carpets, beds, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few.
However
, killing these precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few rhinos exist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. For that reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
all the endangered species.
Besides
, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
aware
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by organizing seminars, investing money in researchers, which would
invariably
, instigates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to discover alternatives.

In conclusion
, it is understandable that in past decades, most of the species
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wipe out for the natural process of the climate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made activities are
also
considered as one of the main culprits of the extinction, which I believe that human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this by taking countermeasure.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct(eg. Dinosaur, dodos. . ). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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