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It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e. g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e. g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. v. 3
It is argued that there is no convincing reason for people try to prevent animal species to become extinct in nature. I completely disagree with this idea, and this essay will argue why people need to protect endangered species from becoming extinct. Firstly, the environmental factors plays an essential role in natural habitats for animal species. Many rare animals were wiped out by climate, such as dinosaur, dodos. For instance, in 2019 due to prolonged droughts devastated forest in Australia. This forest fire causes a heavy damage is that more half million animals died, such as: koala, kangaroo. In addition, people also are one of the major reasons harm to animals. Illegal animal hunting leads to animal species which are on the verge of extinction; therefore, the government should impose new laws against using animal products. Seconds, wild animal species have great aesthetic and socio-cultural values, and they contribute to our rich ecosystem. For example, in many countries, animal species plays a vital role in showing cultures of that country. Furthermore, in natural the environment, animal species are connected; thus, if one species become extinction lead to many other species also have to suffer as the food chain is disrupted. Obviously, if people are protected animals, we will help maintain a balanced ecosystem. In conclusion, the mass animal extinction does not completely fall upon natural process, but as a consequence of our doing. People need to aware of protecting animal species, and everyone should have the responsibility to maintain animal species.
It
is argued
that there is no convincing reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species to become extinct in nature. I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, and this essay will argue why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to protect endangered species from becoming extinct.

Firstly
, the environmental factors plays an essential role in natural habitats for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
were wiped
out by climate, such as dinosaur, dodos.
For instance
, in 2019 due to prolonged droughts devastated forest in Australia. This forest fire causes
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "heavy damage".
a heavy damage
is that more half million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
, such as: koala, kangaroo.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
are one of the major reasons harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
hunting leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species which are on the verge of extinction;
therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose new laws against using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
products.

Seconds, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species have great aesthetic and
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-cultural
values, and they contribute to our rich ecosystem.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species plays a vital role in showing cultures of that country.
Furthermore
, in natural the environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species
are connected
;
thus
, if one species become extinction lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other species
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer as the food chain
is disrupted
.
Obviously
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are protected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
maintain a balanced ecosystem.

In conclusion
, the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction does not completely fall upon natural process,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as a consequence of our doing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to aware of protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species, and everyone should have the responsibility to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e. g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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