Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree? v.11

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 11
Moving corporations, industries and their workers to the countryside could help solve traffic and housing problems. Although, I disagree with the idea stated. The countryside is usually a place gazed upon for its scenic beauty. Communities of people build their homes, as the surrounding is peaceful. Far away places of the city are usually opted for when buying a new house. Traffic congestion has left urban dwellings in an appalling state. Moreover, there is air pollution that affects nearly everyone. Although for a job, citizens travel miles away from their nests. If factories are to move closer to human surroundings, it will create havoc. The government has created laws, so that the two may be separated from each other. Even though the houses are distant from the workplace they create less mess rather than, if both were close. On the contrary, if employees were moved closer to their workplace, the only advantage would be saving time. For example, if an individual has to take three transports to reach his office, it is better he rather walking there. The time saved could be utilised to carry out other activities such as cooking, exercising etc. Also, excessive traffic on the roads is the cause of stress among human beings. But, under no circumstance to save time will a person want to risk his life. He would rather travel miles, and stay healthy than have breathed in polluted air at his home. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that we are what we breathe. Hence, it is vital that we choose life over work.
Moving corporations, industries and their workers to the countryside could
help
solve traffic and housing problems.
Although
, I disagree with the
idea
stated.

The countryside is
usually
a place gazed upon for its scenic beauty. Communities of
people
build their homes, as the surrounding is peaceful. Far away places of the city are
usually
opted for when buying a new
house
. Traffic congestion has
left
urban dwellings in an appalling state.
Moreover
, there is air pollution that affects
nearly
everyone. Although for a job, citizens travel miles away from their nests. If factories are to
move
closer to human surroundings, it will create havoc. The
government
has created laws,
so
that the two may
be separated
from each other.
Even though
the
houses
are distant from the workplace they create less mess
rather
than, if both were close.

On the contrary
, if employees were
moved
closer to their workplace, the
only
advantage would be saving time.
For example
, if an individual
has to
take three transports to reach his office, it is better he
rather
walking there. The time saved could be
utilised
to carry out other activities such as cooking, exercising etc.
Also
, excessive traffic on the roads is the cause of
stress
among human beings.
But
, under no circumstance to save time will a person want to
risk
his life. He would
rather
travel miles, and stay healthy than have breathed in polluted air at his home.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that we are what we breathe.
Hence
, it is vital that we choose life over work.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts