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It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e. g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e. g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. v. 1
Some people believe that there are no compelling reasons for us to protect animal species from extinction as it occurs naturally. I personally disagree with this conviction and will support my argument in the essay below. It is true that millions of years ago, many ancient species of animals, such as dinosaurs, were wiped out due to a gradual shift in climate and changing sea levels, according to some hypotheses. However, these environmental factors are not the primary contributor to the disappearance of certain species nowadays. Industrial activities have been devastating the natural habitats of wildlife and disturbing the food chain, causing the mass extinction of countless species. The increased demand for goods made from animals’ products, such as skins and horns, also leads to the rampant poaching of wild, endangered animals, rhinos for instance. In this regard, humans are held accountable and should do what is needed to rectify the situation. Other justifications for saving wild animals involve the significant roles that they play in not only the balance of the ecosystem but also our lives. Everything in nature is connected, and if one species becomes extinct, many other animals and even plants will suffer as the food chain is disrupted. Wild animals also have great aesthetic and socio-cultural values. They contribute to our rich bio-diversity that makes this planet a beautiful place. In numerous places around the world, many types of animals play an important role in different cultures. For example, in some religions, cows are revered and worshiped as gods. The disappearance of many animal species does not always occur as a natural process but as a consequence of our doings. It is our obligation to help preserve wild animals because their extinction will have a severe influence on many important aspects of our lives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there are no compelling reasons for us to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species from extinction as it occurs
naturally
. I
personally
disagree with this conviction and will support my argument in the essay below.

It is true that millions of years ago,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ancient species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, such as dinosaurs,
were wiped
out due to a gradual shift in climate and changing sea levels, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hypotheses.
However
, these environmental factors are not the primary contributor to the disappearance of certain species nowadays. Industrial activities have been devastating the natural habitats of wildlife and disturbing the food chain, causing the mass extinction of countless species. The increased demand for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
made from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
products, such as skins and horns,
also
leads to the rampant poaching of wild, endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, rhinos
for instance
. In this regard, humans
are held
accountable and should do what
is needed
to rectify the situation.

Other justifications for saving wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
involve the significant roles that they play in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the balance of the ecosystem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Everything in nature
is connected
, and if one species becomes extinct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and even plants will suffer as the food chain
is disrupted
. Wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
also
have great aesthetic and
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-cultural
values. They contribute to our rich bio-diversity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this planet a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
place. In numerous places around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
religions, cows
are revered
and worshiped as gods.

The disappearance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species does not always occur as a natural process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as a consequence of our doings. It is our obligation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
preserve wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their extinction will have a severe influence on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e. g. Dinosaur, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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