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It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct e g Dinosaur dodos There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening Do you agree or disagree v.2

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct e g Dinosaur dodos There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening v. 2
The extinction of animal species is considered as a precedent process of nature. It is unnecessary for people to make a bid of suspending this process. The essay disagrees with this idea and will point out that the interference of humanity is crucial to maintain our planet’s biodiversity. First of all, wild animals play an indispensable role in the ecosystem. Should they vanish, the balance of food chain shall be broken, leading to the evaporation of not only fauna but also human beings. For example, due to deforestation and climate change, the population of Indian tigers fell dramatically in 1999, which makes the number of deer increase uncontrollably. These harmful animals invaded nearby villagers’ fields and began to destroy crops, putting persons under threat of famine. Second, both people’s agricultural and industrial activities are the main reasons make numerous animals be on the verge of extinction. Thus, it is our responsibility to save and conserve them as a way to compensate Mother Nature. It is urgent for us to treat animals with respect and protect them from being disappeared permanently. By the way of illustration, the authority of China has applied drastic policies and laws in order to grapple with illegal poaching. As a result, the population of pandas rose gradually, guaranteeing the existence of China’s symbolic animals. In conclusion, people ought to try to save as many animals as possible from the risk of being extinct. If we do so, the opportunity for us to maintain the natural ecosystem and protect the Earth’s biodiversity will be more promising and realistic.
The extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species
is considered
as a precedent process of nature. It is unnecessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a bid of suspending this process. The essay disagrees with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and will point out that the interference of humanity is crucial to maintain our planet’s biodiversity.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play an indispensable role in the ecosystem. Should they vanish, the balance of food chain shall
be broken
, leading to the evaporation of not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fauna
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
human beings.
For example
, due to deforestation and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, the population of Indian tigers fell
dramatically
in 1999, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the number of deer increase
uncontrollably
. These harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
invaded nearby villagers’ fields and began to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
crops, putting persons under threat of famine.

Second, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s agricultural and industrial activities are the main reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
be on the verge of extinction.
Thus
, it is our responsibility to save and conserve them as a way to compensate Mother Nature. It is urgent for us to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with respect and protect them from
being disappeared
permanently
. By the way of illustration, the authority of China has applied drastic policies and laws in order to grapple with illegal poaching.
As a result
, the population of pandas rose
gradually
, guaranteeing the existence of China’s symbolic animals.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ought to try to save as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as possible from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of being extinct. If we do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the opportunity for us to maintain the natural ecosystem and protect the Earth’s biodiversity will be more promising and realistic.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct e g Dinosaur dodos There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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