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It has recently been announced that a new movie theatre may be built in your neighbourhood. v.1

It has recently been announced that a new movie theatre may be built in your neighbourhood. v. 1
I live in a small community. From my everyday experience and observation, I can say that the idea of building a new theatre in my neighbourhood has some advantages as well as disadvantages. In this essay, I will first focus on the reasons why I support this idea and then move on to analysing why someone in my community might oppose it. Finally, I will draw a rational conclusion based on the analysis made throughout the essay and my own belief and observation. First of all, I like movies and my husband and I sometimes go to the movie theatre to watch premieres. Unfortunately, it is time-consuming for us. We have to drive about 50 minutes to the nearest movies theatre. So, the idea of having a movie theatre in our neighbourhood seems very attractive. It would save us an hour just to get there and another hour to get back home. Another important aspect of it is that in this case, we will be able to get to the movie theatre by foot. I must confess that we always have parking troubles in the parking space near the movie theatre. Second of all, a new movie theatre is a very good place for students who want to earn some money. My husband and I live near a student community, so I think it would be a great news for them. In addition to this practical benefit students will be able to watch all movies free of charge. I suppose it is a great way to save some money. Finally, there are usually many restaurants and entertaining centres around a movie theatre and people can have dinner or play game machines there. In contrast, I think that the building of a new movie theatre will destroy the silence and beauty of out community. Such entertaining centres are often noisy. Moreover, traffic jams will probably be the result of it. In conclusion, I think that if the question was about building a new movie theatre in the next neighbourhood I would completely agree. I agree due to the advantages if will offer.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. From my everyday experience and observation, I can say that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages
as well
as disadvantages. In this essay, I will
first
focus on the reasons why I support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
why someone in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
might oppose it.
Finally
, I will draw a rational conclusion based on the analysis made throughout the essay and my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
belief and observation.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and my husband and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
premieres. Unfortunately, it is time-consuming for us. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
drive about 50 minutes to the nearest
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "movies'" or "movie's"?
movies
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
in our
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive. It would save us an hour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there and another hour to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back home. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of it is that
in this case
, we will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
by foot. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
confess that we always have parking troubles in the parking space near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.

Second of all, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place for students who want to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money. My husband and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near a student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for them.
In addition
to this practical benefit students will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
free of charge. I suppose it is a great way to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money.

Finally
, there are
usually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
restaurants and entertaining
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
around a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have dinner or play game machines there.
In contrast
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the building of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the silence and beauty of out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. Such entertaining
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
noisy.
Moreover
, traffic jams will
probably
be the result of it.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if the question was about building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
in the
next
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
I would completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
due to the advantages if will offer.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes

IELTS essay It has recently been announced that a new movie theatre may be built in your neighbourhood. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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