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It is often said that education is more important these days than it ever had been. Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? v.1

It is often said that education is more important these days than it ever had been. Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? v. 1
The human, through the ages, has undergone many changes from the time when he depicted mammoth herds on the walls of a cave to nowadays when he works on a computer with a large amount of information. From my everyday experience and observation, I can state several factors, which defend the statement that the ability to read and write is very important today. At old times people did not depend on information that much. They did not have to fill out many application forms, write a lot, read news from a newspaper about an economic situation, etc. Now the situation has changed. Knowledge and the ability to analyse information are more important now than man's physical strength. First of all, it is essential for a person to be literate in Informational Age. Every day one needs to withdraw money from cash machines, to pay a bill, to write out a check, to fill some forms, to read instructions, ads, job requirements and applications. It is almost impossible to survive in modern society without these basic abilities. Almost every job requires these important skills. Imagine that one does not have them and one has a family to care about. So, one's first step is to find a job. One can do it either through newspapers or by asking help from one's friends. One can not read, so one chooses the second way. The second step is to pass a job interview and fill out some forms. Moreover, one has to sign a job contract - an important document that concludes all one's rights and terms. So, basically, it is almost impossible to get a job for a literate person in the modern world, especially in developed countries. Second of all, the number of jobs that do not require the ability to read and write, is dramatically decreasing. Almost every employer wants to have an employee with basic communication and computer skills. In fact, more jobs on the labour market are for literate persons. A lot of primitive jobs are done by machines nowadays. So, it is a very good chance for illiterate people to be constantly on unemployment lists. In conclusion, I think that every country must have strong programs against illiteracy.
The human, through the ages, has undergone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from the time when he depicted mammoth herds on the walls of a cave to nowadays when he works on a computer with a large amount of information. From my everyday experience and observation, I can state several factors, which defend the statement that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
write
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. At
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did not depend on information that much. They did not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fill out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
application forms,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
write
a lot,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
news from a newspaper about an economic situation, etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the situation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Knowledge and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
information are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's physical strength.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is essential for a person to be literate in Informational Age. Every day one needs to withdraw money from cash machines, to pay a bill, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
write
out a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
, to fill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
forms, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
instructions, ads,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requirements and applications. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
impossible to survive in modern society without these basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Almost
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requires these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Imagine that one does not have them and one has a family to care about.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one's
first
step is to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. One can do it either through newspapers or by asking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from one's friends. One can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one chooses the second way. The second step is to pass a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
interview and fill out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
forms.
Moreover
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
contract
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
document that concludes all one's rights and terms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
basically
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for a literate person in the modern world,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
.

Second of all, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that do not require the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
write
, is
dramatically
decreasing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Almost
every employer wants to have an employee with basic communication and computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In fact, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market are for literate persons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
primitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are done
by machines nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance for illiterate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be
constantly
on unemployment lists.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have strong programs against illiteracy.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often said that education is more important these days than it ever had been. Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past? Why or why not? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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