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Teachers in different countries get different payments and many people say that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. v.1

Teachers in different countries get different payments and many people say that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. v. 1
The education sector in a country is quite important and different policies are taken by the authority to enhance the quality of education. One such policy suggested by some is that teachers' payment should be based on the scale of students' learning. This might sound an alluring idea, but I personally disagree with it. To begin with, theoretically, the policy of paying a teacher based on how much his students actually learn is quite a good one. But the practical aspect is quite different as it is almost impossible to accurately judge the level of students learning curve taught by a teacher. For instance, some students perform quite brilliantly in a class while others even fail to grasp the basic concepts. This can be seen even in a single classroom where the same teachers are teaching those students. Moreover, this policy would create an outburst and dissatisfaction among the teachers and would actually decline their motivation. Not to mention, this would actually decline the education and teaching quality which is not at all desirable. Another key thing to remember is that teaching profession is already failing to attract talented individuals as they opt to more attractive salary offered by other professions. If payment based on students learning curve is considered, it would make it an even less attractive profession. On contrary to this policy, more training, motivations, monitoring teaching styles of teachers and then counselling, student feedback on teachers could be better alternatives. To conclude, teachers' role, in a country, is very important and no policy that might be detrimental for their motivation or for the educational setup should be launched.
The education sector in a country is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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policies
are taken
by the authority to enhance the quality of education. One such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
suggested by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
is that teachers' payment should
be based
on the scale of students' learning. This might sound an alluring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
disagree with it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
theoretically
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
of paying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
based on how much his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
actually learn is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the practical aspect is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
as it is almost impossible to
accurately
judge the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning curve taught by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
brilliantly
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
while others even fail to grasp the basic concepts. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
even in a single classroom where the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
would create an outburst and dissatisfaction among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and would actually decline their motivation. Not to mention, this would actually decline the education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
quality which is not at all desirable.

Another key thing to remember is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
profession is already failing to attract talented individuals as they opt to more attractive salary offered by other professions. If payment based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning curve
is considered
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it an even less attractive profession. On contrary to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
, more training, motivations, monitoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
styles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and then counselling,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
feedback on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
could be better alternatives.

To conclude
, teachers' role, in a country, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
that might be detrimental for their motivation or for the educational setup should
be launched
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Teachers in different countries get different payments and many people say that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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