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Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. v.2

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. v. 2
The invention of the automobile is undoubtedly one of the humankind's greatest inventions. It had a great impact on people's lives. For several reasons that will be mentioned bellow, I think that the invention of the automobile dramatically changed the way people lived before. First of all, automobile allowed people to move faster from one place to another. This in one's turn dramatically increased people's life pace. The distance was no longer of that importance. It was a new means of communication. Second of all, nowadays it is rather difficult to imagine life without a car. People can not do virtually anything without a car. Just imagine for a moment that one does not have a car. One needs to go an office, get a haircut, buy some food, watch a movie, meet one's friend, etc. To get all these done he uses a car to move fast from one place to another. In addition, people can travel using their own vehicle. It is great because one can travel independently, without any train schedules. Finally, I think that the invention of the automobile was inescapable. People could not continue using trains and horses to meet their life requirements. Moreover, just imagine for a moment how many horses people would need nowadays. I think we would talk about horse overpopulation as well as human overpopulation. Unfortunately, the invention of the automobile has some negative aspects. The most obvious aspect of this is the road accident. Many people every day suffer from different injuries. Also, with the invention of the automobile humankind came across with a problem of air pollution. A huge amount of cars every day throws out many poisonous matters in the air. I believe that soon we all will be able to exchange our cars for those, which use sun energy instead of fuel.
The invention of the
automobile
is
undoubtedly
one of the humankind's greatest inventions. It had a great impact on
people
's
lives
. For several reasons that will
be mentioned
bellow, I
think
that the invention of the
automobile
dramatically
changed
the way
people
lived
before
.

First of all
,
automobile
allowed
people
to
move
faster from one place to another. This in one's turn
dramatically
increased
people
's life pace. The distance was no longer of that importance. It was a new means of communication. Second of all, nowadays it is
rather
difficult to imagine life without a
car
.
People
can not do
virtually
anything without a
car
.
Just
imagine for a moment that one does not have a
car
. One needs to go an office,
get
a haircut,
buy
some
food,
watch
a movie,
meet
one's friend, etc. To
get
all these done he
uses
a
car
to
move
fast
from one place to another.

In addition
,
people
can travel using their
own
vehicle. It is great
because
one can travel
independently
, without any train schedules.
Finally
, I
think
that the invention of the
automobile
was inescapable.
People
could not continue using trains and horses to
meet
their life requirements.
Moreover
,
just
imagine for a moment how
many
horses
people
would need nowadays. I
think
we would talk about horse overpopulation
as well
as human overpopulation.

Unfortunately, the invention of the
automobile
has
some
negative
aspects. The most obvious aspect of this is the road accident.
Many
people
every day suffer from
different
injuries.
Also
, with the invention of the
automobile
humankind came across with a problem of air pollution. A huge amount of
cars
every day throws out
many
poisonous matters in the air. I believe that
soon
we all will be able to exchange our
cars
for those, which
use
sun energy
instead
of fuel.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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