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It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated? v.2

It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated? v. 2
Over recent years, the rate of crime has dramatically increased in many countries around the world. It has been suggested that the reintroduction of the death penalty would be an effective deterrent against the growth of serious crime, but it can be argued that capital punishment is unacceptable in our society for several reasons. In the following essay I will examine this issue and then give my own opinion. Firstly, capital punishment does not seem to reduce crime rates. The most recent survey of the relation between the death penalty and homicide rates was conducted for the UN and concluded that there is no scientific evidence that capital punishment deters people from committing crime. In fact, death penalty states continue to have higher crime rates than states that have abolished it. Secondly, the death penalty is an inhuman and degrading punishment that violates human rights, in particular the right to life. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that everyone has the inalienable right to life and should not be killed by another person nor by government. However, capital punishment is still practised in many countries, such as the United States or China, where the death penalty is regarded as a highly effective measure that provides a sense of justice for victims. It is certainly true that victims and their families have the right to justice, but executing somebody because they have committed murder is revenge, not justice. Finally, capital punishment entails the risk of executing innocent people. Although criminal justice systems are supposed to be perfect, they have serious flaws and prosecutors as well as jurors can all make mistakes. A recent study has found that in the USA over 150 people had been released from death row because they were innocent of the crime for which they were convicted. This is a clear evidence that such mistakes are not only possible in the criminal justice system, but they are also reversible when death penalty has not been practiced. On the contrary, had they been executed there would have been nothing to do and the state would have been guilty of killing innocent people. In conclusion,
Over recent years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has
dramatically
increased in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world. It has
been suggested
that the reintroduction of the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
would be an effective deterrent against the growth of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
be argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is unacceptable in our society for several reasons. In the following essay I will examine this issue and then give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
does not seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. The most recent survey of the relation between the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
and homicide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
was conducted
for the UN and concluded that there is no scientific evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
deters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. In fact, death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
continue to have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
that have abolished it.

Secondly
, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is an inhuman and degrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that violates human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
,
in particular
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to life. The Universal Declaration of Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rights
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
that everyone has the inalienable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to life and should not
be killed
by another person nor by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
still
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, such as the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
or China, where the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is regarded
as a
highly
effective measure that provides a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
justice
for victims. It is
certainly
true that victims and their families have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
justice
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
executing somebody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have committed murder is revenge, not justice.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
entails the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of executing innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Although criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
justice
systems
are supposed
to be perfect, they have serious flaws and prosecutors
as well
as jurors can all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes. A recent study has found that in the USA over 150
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had
been released
from death row
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were innocent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for which they
were convicted
. This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence that such mistakes are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible in the criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
justice
system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
also
reversible when death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
has not
been practiced
.
On the contrary
, had they
been executed
there would have been nothing to do and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
would have been guilty of killing innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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