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Capital punishment is essential to control violence and crime in society. Without enforcing capital punishment like dead sentence our life would become less secure and the number of crime and violence in society would increase. v.2

Capital punishment is essential to control violence and crime in society. Without enforcing capital punishment like dead sentence our life would become less secure and the number of crime and violence in society would increase. v. 2
In the past, capital punishment was widely applied to the criminal who were convicted of the serious crime, but now this method is rarely employed by few governments. While I accept it has some conveniences on the society and the administration for controlling the violence, I believe that capital punishment should be banned for several reasons. On the one hand, there are some benefits to the regimes when they implicate the capital punishment. Firstly, petty criminals would discourage to become dangerous offenders because they can see the penalty of the other sinner. This could result in the reduction of crime on the society. Secondly, many governments have to spend a vast amount of money by fostering the convict. As an example, the USA government spends more than 5 percent money of their budget by rearing the criminal in the prison. However, if they employ the capital punishment, the state can able to save much money.   Thus, it is fairly easy to comprehend that capital punishment has some advantages on the society and the nation. On the other hand, it can be argued why this method should be banned. One important point is that people can be wrongly convicted. For instance, recent news is published by a daily newspaper named Daily Star in Nigeria that a person was wrongly punished after 25 years it has been proved that he is innocent. If the capital punishment would apply to this person, he would not get the proper judgment. Another point is that as some criminal are mentally ill and they have no idea about their crime. Moreover, this disease has treatments. Therefore, it would not be a good idea to apply this action in all circumstances. Furthermore, the lifetime imprisonment, rehabilitation etc. can be the alternative solution to manage the crime. In conclusions, I think capital punishment should not be required in this modern era. There are many alternative methods we can apply instead of capital punishment for controlling the serious crime on the society.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
was
widely
applied to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
who
were convicted
of the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
this method is rarely employed by few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. While I accept it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conveniences on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the administration for controlling the violence, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should
be banned
for several reasons.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to the regimes when they implicate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Firstly
, petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
would discourage to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
offenders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the penalty of the other sinner. This could result in the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a vast amount of money by fostering the convict. As an example, the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends more than 5 percent money of their budget by rearing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
in the prison.
However
, if they employ the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, the state
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
save much money.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Thus
, it is
fairly
easy to comprehend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and the nation.

On the other hand
, it can
be argued
why this method should
be banned
. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be
wrongly
convicted.
For instance
, recent news
is published
by a daily newspaper named Daily Star in Nigeria that a person was
wrongly
punished after 25 years it has
been proved
that he is innocent. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
would apply to this person, he would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the proper judgment. Another point is that as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "criminals"?
criminal
are mentally
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ill and
they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Moreover
, this disease has treatments.
Therefore
, it would not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to apply this action in all circumstances.
Furthermore
, the lifetime imprisonment, rehabilitation etc. can be the alternative solution to manage the crime.

In conclusions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should not
be required
in this modern era. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternative methods we can apply
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for controlling the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Capital punishment is essential to control violence and crime in society. Without enforcing capital punishment like dead sentence our life would become less secure and the number of crime and violence in society would increase. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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