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It has been said that people who read for pleasure have more developed imaginations and better language skills than people who prefer to watch TV. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It has been said that people who read for pleasure have more developed imaginations and better language skills than people who prefer to watch TV. v. 2
It is true that the habits of reading books and watching TV have gained in popularity over the past few decades, making a paradigm shift in the lifestyle of every human on Earth. Although some believe that watching TV is a common way to spend their leisure time, in my opinion, those who prefer reading books become more imaginative and capable of using the language. When comparing to watching TV, reading books contributes to the improvement of readers’ imaginations. First, by reading a variety of book genres, such as science-fiction or novel, readers can not only enhance their literacy but also develop the critical thinking. While TV just broadcasts its man-made visual images, reading book forces readers to understand written words, which acts as an incentive for them to imagine. Second, audiences who addict TV are susceptible to become passive as constant pictures are already displayed before them. In fact, if pictures are shown on the screen, audiences will just accept what they see, which leads to restricted imagination. Another compelling reason is that reading can benefit readers’ language skill. By reading books, readers’ language skills, such as their writing skill or vocabularies, will be improved. For example, TV fans are unwilling to find out their writing skill may be declining, which is proved by spelling or grammatical mistakes they make in writing. in addition, most of TV programs are spoken in an oral style in order to approach a variety of audiences. This means that those languages are not as formal and precise as the ones in books, which are beneficial for developing language skills. In conclusion, I believe that reading for pleasure enhances language skill and imaginations. By doing more reading instead of viewing TV, people’s knowledge would be improved in a variety of ways.
It is true that the habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and watching TV have gained in popularity over the past few decades, making a paradigm shift in the lifestyle of every human on Earth. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that watching TV is a common way to spend their leisure time, in my opinion, those who prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
become more imaginative and capable of using the language.

When comparing to watching TV,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
contributes to the improvement of readers’ imaginations.
First
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
genres, such as science-fiction or novel, readers can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance their literacy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop the critical thinking. While TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
broadcasts its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made visual images,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
forces readers to understand written words, which acts as an incentive for them to imagine. Second, audiences who addict TV are susceptible to become passive as constant pictures are already displayed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
them. In fact, if pictures
are shown
on the screen, audiences will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accept what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, which leads to restricted imagination.

Another compelling reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can benefit readers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, readers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, such as their writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
or vocabularies, will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
For example
, TV fans are unwilling to find out their writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
may be declining, which
is proved
by spelling or grammatical mistakes they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
in writing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition,
Consider using "most TV" or "most of the TV".
most of TV
programs
are spoken
Consider replacing "in an oral style" with the adverb for "oral"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an oral style
in order to approach a variety of audiences. This means that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are not as formal and precise as the ones in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, which are beneficial for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for pleasure enhances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and imaginations. By doing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
instead
of viewing TV,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s knowledge would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in a variety of ways.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been said that people who read for pleasure have more developed imaginations and better language skills than people who prefer to watch TV. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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