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It has been said that people who read for pleasure have developed imaginations and gained better language skills than people who prefer watching TV. Do you agree or disagree v.2

It has been said that people who read for pleasure have developed imaginations and gained better language skills than people who prefer watching TV. v. 2
There are those who view that, in this modern era art is a great medical treatment for human relaxation. However, most artists earn a decent income from their job, hence they are struggling to make a living. I believe great things will happen if artist receive aid from government. The pros and cons for my view will be given as below. First, it is noteworthy that most artist, s art area main job and it is the primary source of income. In addition to that, most of them are obviously fascinate about what they do and they are spending massive time and millions of own fund for creating a mesmerize craft. As an example, prominent film director Mr Karan Johor who live in India contributed millions of money for making a historical film which is name of Padmawathi. But he did not recover all of fund which they had spent. Thus, I believe the governing body should be supported to them for continuing their work and film industry. Furthermore, most of individuals are living capital city in the country for facilitating their work the main aspect is they have not own resident or apartment for them. After getting old they struggle for fulfilling their basic needs such as housing, food and medical also. Hence the state should be introduced, some pension scheme to look after them. Moreover, art is the passion of the culture and tradition of the country. But the government would not be contributing much money for that stream because it will be increased unemployment rates. For instance, in this contemporary society, most of artists, talented and creative people to make a great profession. They can reach their lucrative easily by using technology. Hence, I trust. They can earn more money, without support from others. To sum up, artists need financial assistant to continue their tremendous and fascinating works of profession because the government should look after them from trivial time by giving financial support.
There are those who view that, in this modern era art is a great medical treatment for human relaxation.
However
, most
artists
earn a decent income from their job,
hence
they are struggling to
make
a living. I believe great things will happen if
artist
receive aid from
government
. The pros and cons for my view will be
given
as below.

First
, it is noteworthy that most
artist
, s art area main job and it is the primary source of income.
In addition
to that, most of them are
obviously
fascinate
about what they
do and
they are spending massive time and millions of
own
fund for creating
a mesmerize
craft. As an example, prominent film director Mr
Karan
Johor
who
live
in India contributed millions of money for making a historical film which is name of
Padmawathi
.
But
he did not recover
all of fund
which they had spent.
Thus
, I believe the governing body should
be supported
to them for continuing their work and film industry.
Furthermore
,
most of individuals
are living capital city in the country for facilitating their work the main aspect is they have not
own
resident or apartment for them. After getting
old
they struggle for fulfilling their basic needs such as housing, food and medical
also
.
Hence
the state should
be introduced
,
some
pension
scheme to look after them.

Moreover
, art is the passion of the culture and tradition of the country.
But
the
government
would not be contributing much money for that stream
because
it will
be increased
unemployment rates.
For instance
, in this contemporary society, most of
artists
, talented and creative
people
to
make
a great profession. They can reach their lucrative
easily
by using technology.
Hence
, I trust. They can earn more money, without support from others.

To sum up,
artists
need financial assistant to continue their tremendous and fascinating works of profession
because
the
government
should look after them from trivial time by giving financial support.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been said that people who read for pleasure have developed imaginations and gained better language skills than people who prefer watching TV. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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