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It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained inbooks. ” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experiencewith knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which sourceis more important? Why? v.2

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained inbooks. ” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experiencewith knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which sourceis more important? Why? v. 2
Books can teach people a lot of important aspects of life. However, personally, I think that expertise obtained from experience is more significant than the one that acquired books. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, books often present only general information, which can help learners to understand basics of a topic but not pivotal details. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I am a pharmacy technician and before I applied for this position, I had read a lot about pharmaceutical management. In this way, I have learned that sometimes insurance companies reject paying for prescriptions of patients, and so employees of retail pharmacies have to resolve such problems. Although I thought that I was preparing well for my future job, at the very first day at the workplace I realized that I did not know how to exactly process claims to insurance companies in a computer system. In fact, it took me six months to get to know how to solve each type of rejections and satisfy my customers. That is why I think that deep knowledge can be obtained only with a real experience. Secondly, writers are limited by their editors and are allowed to include only a certain number of pages in their books, and therefore, even if they want to fit a myriad of specific information in their works, they cannot exceed the requested amount. For instance, a friend of mine is a journalist and he crafts reportages for a local newspaper. Recently he covered a murder that happened in our small town. I read his article and have found it truly fascinating and informative. However, a few days ago we have talked over a cup of coffee and he mentioned that he has had to drop a lot of details about the crime because his supervisor considered his story unreasonably long. In this way, residents who did not investigate the case themselves, could not learn about crucial circumstances of the murder from the reportage. In conclusion, I strongly believe that true knowledge could be acquired only from real experience but not from written sources. This is because writers superficially describe topics in their books, and because they often cannot fit all they want to say in an article.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
can teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of life.
However
,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that expertise obtained from experience is more significant than the one that acquired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
general information, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
learners to understand basics of a topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not pivotal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I am a pharmacy technician and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I applied for this position, I had read a lot about pharmaceutical management. In this way, I have learned that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
reject paying for prescriptions of patients, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
employees of retail pharmacies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
resolve such problems. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that I was preparing well for my future job, at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
day at the workplace I realized that I did not know how to exactly process claims to insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in a computer system. In fact, it took me six months to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know how to solve each type of rejections and satisfy my customers.
That is
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that deep knowledge can
be obtained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
with a real experience.

Secondly
, writers
are limited
by their editors and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a certain number of pages in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, and
therefore
, even if they want to fit a myriad of specific information in their works, they cannot exceed the requested amount.
For instance
, a friend of mine is a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
journalist and
he crafts
Possible spelling mistake found.
reportages
for a local newspaper. Recently he covered a murder that happened in our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town. I read his article and have found it
truly
fascinating and informative.
However
, a few days ago we have talked over a cup of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
coffee and
he mentioned that he has had to drop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his supervisor considered his story
unreasonably
long. In this way, residents who did not investigate the case themselves, could not learn about crucial circumstances of the murder from the reportage.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that true knowledge could
be acquired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
from real experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not from written sources. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
writers
superficially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
topics in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cannot fit all they want to say in an article.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained inbooks. ” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experiencewith knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which sourceis more important? Why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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