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It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained inbooks. ” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experiencewith knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which sourceis more important? Why? v.1

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained inbooks. ” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experiencewith knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which sourceis more important? Why? v. 1
It is commonly believed that labour saving machines such as dishwashers and gadgets like computers are designed to make our lives less demanding. In my opinion, although adapting to latest technology offers a comfortable and convenient life, the cost of upgrading and maintaining the appliance cannot be neglected. Firstly, in the modern era, where people are over occupied in the lives, robotic intervention must be accepted to strike a balance between professional and personal life. In other words, by delegating the manual work to machines allows us you spend quality time with family and friends. Secondly, using the gadgets like computers keep us technically advanced. Furthermore, introducing machines such as vacuum cleaners, and washing machines will allow us to concentrate on more important things and will improve the quality of life. To illustrate, these machines assist a great deal, particularly in hotels and restaurants where the volume of laundry and dishes are high, and manual involvement results in loss of valuable time, effort and energy. Another point to consider is that learning the modern technology causes a lot of stress and tension to many. Additionally, the cost involved in purchasing and installing the devices is also one aspect that cannot be avoided. Moreover, special training is required in using some of the equipments. For instance, this can be challenging for the elderly, hence limiting the scope of saving labour and thereby increasing stress and burden on the other members of the house. Additionally, some of the gadgets require periodic maintenance, which also elevate the cost associated with using the machinery, not to forget the unavoidable expenses when a technician has to be called in for repairs. Owing to these factors, some people suggest that these gadgets increase difficulty instead of smoothening out day to day activities. In conclusion, people should deliberate carefully before purchasing the labour saving machine by carefully analysing the pros and cons, and decide for themselves if the gadgets fit into their lifestyle and is really making their lives simplified or not.
It is
commonly
believed that
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
labour saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
such as dishwashers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
like computers
are designed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
less demanding. In my opinion, although adapting to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technology offers a comfortable and convenient life, the cost of upgrading and maintaining the appliance cannot
be neglected
.

Firstly
, in the modern era, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are over occupied in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, robotic intervention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to strike a balance between professional and personal life.
In other words
, by delegating the manual work to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us you spend quality time with family and friends.
Secondly
, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
like computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us
technically
advanced.
Furthermore
, introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
such as vacuum cleaners, and washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to concentrate on more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life. To illustrate, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
assist a great deal,
particularly
in hotels and restaurants where the volume of laundry and dishes are high, and manual involvement results in loss of valuable time, effort and energy.

Another point to consider is that learning the modern technology causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and tension to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
Additionally
, the cost involved in purchasing and installing the devices is
also
one aspect that cannot
be avoided
.
Moreover
, special training
is required
in using
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
equipments.
For instance
, this can be challenging for the elderly,
hence
limiting the scope of saving
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and thereby increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and burden on the other members of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Additionally
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
require periodic maintenance, which
also
elevate the cost associated with using the machinery, not to forget the unavoidable expenses when a technician
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be called
in for repairs. Owing to these factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
increase difficulty
instead
of smoothening out
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should deliberate
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
labour saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
by
carefully
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the pros and cons, and decide for themselves if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gadgets
fit into their lifestyle and is
really
making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
simplified or not.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained inbooks. ” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experiencewith knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which sourceis more important? Why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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