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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Televisionhas destroyed communication among friends and family. Usespecific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.726

Televisionhas destroyed communication among friends and family. Usespecific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 726
Television undoubtedly has had a huge impact on society. Personally, I think that television has caused a decrease in interaction between people. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. To start with, these days a lot of people prefer to spend their spare time in front of a TV instead of going out and enjoying a company of their friends. The variety of channels offer us a myriad of documentaries, movies, and entertaining programs to watch. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I have a full-time job and family with two children to care of. Not only that, but I constantly practice English in order to obtain a pharmaceutical license in the United States and work in my favorite field. In this way, I always tired and when I have some free time I just want to lay down on a couch in front of Tv and relax. Moreover, I have a cable, and so there is always something to watch. As a result, I do not hang out with my friends as often as I did before and I feel that our connection weaken. This example illustrates how television can negatively affect relationships between people. Secondly, numerous political programs on television have caused misunderstandings between citizens. Many reporters who cover political affairs do not research information for their reportages properly and say misleading facts which regular people can believe in. For instance, when a few years go my country faced a presidential election, certain channels praised a particular candidate because he paid for the support. They told that the applicant has helped people in need and founded a charity organization. I did not believe this information but my mother did. She wanted to vote for him but since I knew that he was corrupted, I tried to explain he the truth. In this way, we argued a lot and even did not talk to each other for a while. Finally, police found out that his charity organization was just a way to avoid paying taxes and so he was dismissed. Although sometimes television provides information that relatives can listen to and discuss, very often the information can divide us. In conclusion, I strongly believe that modern television threatens communication between family members and friends. This is because it offers a lot of programs to watch and relax in a quiet environment, and because a lot of lie on TV lead to conflicts between citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
undoubtedly
has had a huge impact on society.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has caused a decrease in interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, these days a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to spend their spare time in front of a TV
instead
of going out and enjoying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of their friends. The variety of channels
Did you mean "offers"?
offer
us a myriad of documentaries, movies, and entertaining programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. I have a full-time job and family with two children to care of. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
constantly
practice English in order to obtain a pharmaceutical license in the United States and work in my favorite field. In this way, I always tired and when I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
free time I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to lay down on a couch in front of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
and relax.
Moreover
, I have a cable, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is always something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
As a result
, I do not hang out with my friends as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as I did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and I feel that our connection weaken. This example illustrates how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can
negatively
affect relationships between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, numerous political programs on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have caused misunderstandings between citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
reporters who cover political affairs do not research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
reportages
properly
and say misleading facts which regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can believe in.
For instance
, when a few years go my country faced a presidential election, certain channels praised a particular candidate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he paid for the support. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that the applicant has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in need and founded a charity organization. I did not believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my mother did. She wanted to vote for him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since I knew that he
was corrupted
, I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
The verb 'to explain something to someone' requires a preposition.
he
the truth. In this way, we argued a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
and even did not talk to each other for a while.
Finally
, police found out that his charity organization was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a way to avoid paying
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
taxes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
was dismissed
. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that relatives can listen to and discuss,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can divide us.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
threatens communication between family members and friends. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it offers a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and relax in a quiet environment, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of lie on TV lead to conflicts between citizens.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Televisionhas destroyed communication among friends and family. Usespecific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 726

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
417 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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