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Some people want to work for a large company, others choose to work for a small one. Which one do you prefer? v.1

Some people want to work for a large company, others choose to work for a small one. Which one do you prefer? v. 1
The Recruiter's main aim is to always recruit the best suited candidates for the work. While interviewing, the interviewer seeks job applicants personal information, such as hobbies, field of interests, and married or not. Some members argue that these details are not necessary. Whereas, remaining people support the trend. This essay will discuss why sometimes collecting the personal details seems irrelevant, but why it is must in most of the cases. According to some people, the hiring process should mainly focus on testing the technical, educational background, and problem solving capabilities, rather than gathering the private details of an individual. Firstly, not everyone has special hobbies these days. Also, to know whether the interviewee is still single or married is totally inappropriate in an interview. For example, during the interview, it makes sense to question an engineer regarding the latest advances in science and technology rather asking if he is engaged. Admittedly, the employer should avoid asking unnecessary questions, instead, it should be related to the context of the work. To contradict, knowing the work seeker's marital status and hobbies not just help employers to decide the job locations but also the best suitable designation. A person who has recently got married expects to stay along with one's partner, and knowing this helps managers allocate the workplace accordingly. In addition, if singers and athletes get hired, they can manage cultural and sporting events in an organization better than the person who has no interest in organizing such events. To exemplify, I got hired as a police constable not because of obtaining a high score in the entrance exam, but for being an outstanding athlete. Obviously, knowing the job applicant's extra curricular capabilities and relationship status helps the company to make better decisions, keeping mutual interests in mind. To conclude, knowing employment seekers' interest and the matrimonial status helps in the overall recruitment drive. In my opinion, the employer should gather as much as personal details possible from the answerers, even though they find it inapplicable.
The Recruiter's main aim is to always recruit the best suited candidates for the work. While interviewing, the interviewer seeks job applicants personal information, such as hobbies, field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
, and married or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
members argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
are not necessary.

“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, remaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the trend. This essay will discuss why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
collecting the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
seems irrelevant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in most of the cases.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the hiring process should
mainly
focus on testing the technical, educational background, and problem solving capabilities,
rather
than gathering the private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of an individual.
Firstly
, not everyone has special hobbies these days.
Also
, to know whether the interviewee is
still
single or married is
totally
inappropriate in an interview.
For example
, during the interview, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense to question an engineer regarding the latest advances in science and technology
rather
asking if he
is engaged
.
Admittedly
, the employer should avoid asking unnecessary questions,
instead
, it should
be related
to the context of the work.

To contradict,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
the work seeker's marital status and hobbies not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
employers to decide the job locations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the best suitable designation. A person who has recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
to stay along with one's partner, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
managers allocate the workplace
accordingly
.
In addition
, if singers and athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired, they can manage cultural and sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in an organization better than the person who has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in organizing such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. To exemplify, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
hired as a police constable not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of obtaining a high score in the entrance exam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for being an outstanding athlete.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
the job applicant's
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra curricular
capabilities and relationship status
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better decisions, keeping mutual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
in mind.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
employment seekers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and the matrimonial status
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in the
overall
recruitment drive. In my opinion, the employer should gather as much as personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
possible from the answerers,
even though
they find it inapplicable.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people want to work for a large company, others choose to work for a small one. Which one do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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