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If racism and xenophobia are attitude that we are taught not born with then the problems that come from them can be resolved Discuss this view and give your own opinion v.1

If racism and xenophobia are attitude that we are taught not born with then the problems that come from them can be resolved Discuss this view and give your own opinion v. 1
Many people believe that private educational bodies must receive grants from government as the money will assist the schools to grow and flourish. In my opinion, legal administration must not provide funding to private institutions and must restrict the funds to other avenues. Firstly. Private schools are mostly run by corporate houses who have enough funds to provide support to the school. In other words, privately owned education houses have a strong financial backing which assists the schools to grow and improve. Moreover, as such institutes can pay a higher annual compensation for the teachers, the quality of teachers and education imparted in a private learning hub is better than a comparable state owned learning centre. One clear example to provide more light on this point is that students in private schools have been consistently getting better grades than the students of government schools. Another point to consider is that the fees at a private school are much higher than that of a state run school. To illustrate, private schools increase their annual fees by a minimum of 10% every year. This money is used in infrastructure development, updating the classrooms and revamping the curriculum. Hence, better learning facilities and environment is provided to the student studying at privately funded institutes. Hence, additional funding from separate sources is not required. In conclusion, private schools must not be granted funding from the government, as they are already flourishing and don't need more inflow of money. Therefore, the ministry must not provide grants to a privately owned institute.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
educational bodies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
receive grants from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as the money will assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to grow and flourish. In my opinion, legal administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
funding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
institutions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
restrict the funds to other avenues.

Firstly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
mostly
run by corporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
support to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In other words
,
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
have a strong financial backing which assists the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to grow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
Moreover
, as such institutes can pay a higher annual compensation for the teachers, the quality of teachers and education imparted in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
learning hub is better than a comparable state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.

One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
more light on this point is that students in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have been
consistently
getting better grades than the students of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
schools.

Another point to consider is that the fees at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are much higher than that of a state run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
increase their annual fees by a minimum of 10% every year. This money is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in infrastructure development, updating the classrooms and revamping the curriculum.
Hence
, better learning facilities and environment
is provided
to the student studying at
privately
funded institutes.
Hence
, additional funding from separate sources is not required.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be granted
funding from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, as they are already flourishing and don't need more inflow of money.
Therefore
, the ministry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
grants to a
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
institute.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay If racism and xenophobia are attitude that we are taught not born with then the problems that come from them can be resolved Discuss this view and give your own opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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