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It has been said, "Not all learning takes place in the classroom. " Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from classroom instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v.2

It has been said, "Not all learning takes place in the classroom. " Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from classroom instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v. 2
Since humans started to discover secrets of globe, they tried to share their idea and learn things that they did not know from each other. So, when the knowledge became more and more extensive which nobody could not be able to an expert in all fields, educational institutions were established. In similar vein, some people believed that self-studying and self-learning is more efficient way to be elaborate in a field and people should learn things though their own experience. Thus, both learning in class and learning through experience have their own advantages and disadvantages. In following, I will discuss about their benefits and weaknesses, then, I will talk about my own perspective. About knowledge gained form experience, we know that it is very hard to achieve and needs perseverance, hard working and it results gradually. In this kind of learning, learner fails many times. Because there is no clear instructions, the results may related to chance. This process is a sort of examine and failure which person fix the problems step by step. This type of gaining knowledge was very common in past when scientists unable to access appropriate resources of contribution. For example, Thomas Edison tried and failed more than one thousand times when he was inventing lamp. Or another instance was Marie Curie that was succeed to extract Radium from raw materials but it took several years to became successful. In general, knowledge that comes from experience is very risky with a high rate of failure. Most of the people that gained knowledge from such experiences are now become known as pioneers of that field. In contrast, knowledge which gains from classrooms is easier to reach. Students are taught by a trained tutor whose is aware about most of skills. In this kind of learning, students use books as references of gaining knowledge. The only thing that students should study these references thoroughly and try to memorize methods which discovered by self-studied and self-learned scientists. In this type of learning, students stands on the shoulders of pioneers of the pioneer scientists. It is more theoretically rather than practical so that most of students are knowledgeable but unable to apply that knowledge. Personally, I think that we should gain theoretical part of knowledge in classrooms and practical part through personal experience. We can not only participate in classrooms and memorize books and expect that become a expert in that major. We need to apply our knowledge by practicing more and more in real situation. For example, If we want to have experience and knowledge about cultures like Marko Polo, it would be better to go to trip instead of reading his diaries. Or in order to be be god doctor, reading books is not enough to cure people. We need to spend some of our educational period in hospitals. As the Persian proverb says: " Listening is not like observing" . To sum up, both of these methods are requisite to be a knowledgeable person. In this era, it is impossible to be an expert and skillful person by only attending in classes or try to gain knowledge through personal experiences because the world is progressing in very fast pace.
Since humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to discover secrets of globe, they tried to share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and learn things that they did not know from each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
became more and more extensive which nobody could not be able to an expert in all fields, educational institutions
were established
. In similar vein,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that self-studying and self-learning is more efficient way to be elaborate in a field and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should learn things though their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Thus
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages. In following, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss their"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about their
benefits and weaknesses, then, I will talk about my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective.

About
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
gained form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, we know that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve and needs perseverance,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
and it results
gradually
. In this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, learner fails
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
instructions, the results may related to chance. This process is a sort of examine and failure which person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "problems'" or "problem's"?
problems
step by step. This type of gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in past when scientists unable to access appropriate resources of contribution.
For example
, Thomas Edison tried and failed more than one thousand times when he was inventing lamp. Or another instance was Marie Curie that was
Consider using a past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
to extract Radium from raw materials
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it took several years to became successful.
In general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
risky with a high rate of failure. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that gained
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become known as pioneers of that field.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
which gains from classrooms is easier to reach.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are taught
by a trained tutor whose is aware about most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
books as references of gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should study these references
thoroughly
and try to memorize methods which discovered by self-studied and self-learned scientists. In this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
stands on the shoulders of pioneers of the pioneer scientists. It is more
theoretically
rather
than practical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are knowledgeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unable to apply that knowledge.

Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should gain theoretical part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in classrooms and practical part through personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. We can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
participate in classrooms and memorize books and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
expert in that major. We need to apply our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
by practicing more and more in real situation.
For example
, If we want to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about cultures like Marko Polo, it would be better to go to trip
instead
of reading his diaries. Or in order to
Possible typo: you repeated a word
be be
god doctor, reading books is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We need to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our educational period in hospitals. As the Persian proverb says:
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Listening is not like
Possible spelling mistake found.
observing&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


To sum up, both of these methods are requisite to be a knowledgeable person. In this era, it is impossible to be an expert and skillful person by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attending in classes or try to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
through personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the world is progressing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been said, "Not all learning takes place in the classroom. " Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from classroom instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
531 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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