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Write an essay of about 300 words on the following topic: It has been said, "Not all learning takes place in the classroom. " Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from classroom instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v.1

Write an essay of about 300 words on the following topic: It has been said, "Not all learning takes place in the classroom. " Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from classroom instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v. 1
Learning is a process of acquiring knowledge to improve ourselves. However, learning takes place not only in school, but also in our real life. In my perspective, although both learning in class and learning through experience have their own advantages and disadvantages, knowledge gained from our own experience is more important. To begin with, personal experiences prepare us to deal with real life situation. We can not only participate in classrooms, memorize books and expect that we can become an expert on a major. The school does not teach us how to deal with some real situations. Therefore, some people easily get confused when facing with those situations. The young do not realise about the value of food, money and relationship. They just know about money value when they start earning of money, suffer from hunger or try to get well on a relationship. Or in order to be a good teacher, reading books is not enough. We need to spend some of our educational period in schools. Furthermore, expertise gained from training is a sort of examining and failure, which we acquire by fixing the problems step by step. We all know that it is very hard to achieve and needs perseverance, hard working and it results gradually. In this kind of learning, people fail many times. Like scientists, they have to spend a lot of time in the laboratory, do many experiments to invent something. For instance, Thomas Alva Edison tried and failed thousands times when he was inventing vacuum bulb, automatic telegraph, phonograph, etc. Or another example is Marie Curie, who succeeded in extracting Radium from raw materials, but it took several years to become successful. Nevertheless, we all have limited understanding in our lives. If we only rely on experience to learn, we will hardly learn and cannot succeed. Learning from books, from schools helps us compare learning to practice, so we can better understand our training. If we think about the experience and prospects of others, we can prevent our own view from being too rigid. To wrap up, to be truly knowledgeable, we must gain knowledge from both real life and school instruction. Moreover, We need to apply our insight by practicing more and more in real situations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
is a process of acquiring knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
takes place not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life. In my perspective, although both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages, knowledge gained from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
prepare us to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. We can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
participate in classrooms, memorize books and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that we can become an expert on a major. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
does not teach us how to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused when facing with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. The young do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
about the value of food, money and relationship. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
know about money value when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning of money, suffer from hunger or try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well on a relationship. Or in order to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
teacher, reading books is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. We need to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our educational period in schools.

Furthermore
, expertise gained from training is a sort of examining and failure, which we acquire by fixing the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "problems'" or "problem's"?
problems
step by step. We all know that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve and needs perseverance,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
and it results
gradually
. In this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times. Like scientists, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in the laboratory, do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiments to invent something.
For instance
, Thomas Alva Edison tried and failed thousands times when he was inventing vacuum bulb, automatic telegraph, phonograph, etc. Or another example is Marie Curie, who succeeded in extracting Radium from raw materials,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it took several years to become successful.

Nevertheless
, we all have limited understanding in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to learn, we will hardly learn and cannot succeed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
from books, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to practice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can better understand our training. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and prospects of others, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view from being too rigid.

To wrap up, to be
truly
knowledgeable, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
gain knowledge from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
instruction.
Moreover
, We need to apply our insight by practicing more and more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Write an essay of about 300 words on the following topic: It has been said, "Not all learning takes place in the classroom. " Compare and contrast knowledge gained from personal experience with knowledge gained from classroom instruction. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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