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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.711

The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 711
Nowadays, it is hard to imagine life without the Internet. We spend most of our daily time online and it make us to be more dependent to the Internet. Also, as other tools, it has many advantages and disadvantages which we should consider thoroughly. The internet facilitates the flow of information between people and had a significant impact on people' s awareness. Furthermore, it has an effective role in improving quality of education. In contrast, the Internet threats our social and culture in some ways. Gradually, it become a tool which is popular among terrorists, abusers, and thieves. In addition, the Internet has a major influence on families fragmentation. The basis of my opinion will be discussed as follow. First, the Internet is a place that we can find many unethical materials in it. Ignoring dark web, which is very dangerous place, all of the users can access to the unethical contents like porn, abusive videos and the information which is restricted to be publish in public. Every young internet user (e. g. under 18 years old) can access to the porn movies and most of them are addicted to watch sexual intercourse that are inappropriate to them. It become more dangerous when some teachers confessed that students knows almost all of the porn stars and have a little information about famous poets and writers like Kafka, Doma, etc. So, internet is very destructive by spreading the sexual and unethical contexts. Second, Internet is becoming very popular among terrorists such as ISIS, Al-Qaeda and FARC. They use internet to suicide, find members to join their group and plan of terrorist operations. It has reported that terrorist groups recruited some psychology and computer specialists that were commissioned to find victims by searching in the internet and talk with them through Skype and social networks. For instance, most of the ISIS members, which arrested by Iranian security guards, confessed that they convinced to join ISIS through the Internet. Also, terrorist groups usually plan their terrorist operations through internet. The latest example of this is occurred in Istanbul, Turkey, which the terrorist, who killed more that 30 people in a club, gets order from the top member through social networks. So, internet is becoming a threat to the social security and civilizations by terrorist operations, spreading fear among the citizens, etc. Finally, internet and social networks are very effective in increasing rate of divorce among countries like Iran. Researchers indicated that most of the people, who their wife or husband cheated to them, stated that social networks such as Telegram, What' sApp, Facebook and Twitter as the main reason of their divorce. They stated that their partners start to cheat to them by establishing a romance relationship with others in such networks. Furthermore, some of the people believed that their partners are spending most of their in social networks and playing games instead of spending time along them. So, overusing internet is very harmful to society and culture. It caused many couples divorced. In conclusion, although internet is a very useful tool to improve our civilization' s quality of life, misusing it may has severe negative effects on families, culture and even, humanity. In general, internet is becoming a dangerous tool with a lot of threats to children and families. If we want to have a good life in a healthy society, we should use advertising to trigger people to use the internet efficiently.
Nowadays, it is
hard
to imagine life without the Internet. We spend most of our daily time online and it
make
us to be more dependent to the Internet.
Also
, as other
tools
, it has
many
advantages and disadvantages which we should consider
thoroughly
. The internet facilitates the flow of information between
people
and had a significant impact on
people&
#039; s awareness.
Furthermore
, it has an effective role in improving quality of education.
In contrast
, the Internet threats our
social
and culture in
some
ways.
Gradually
, it
become
a
tool
which is popular among
terrorists
, abusers, and thieves.
In addition
, the Internet has a major influence on
families
fragmentation. The basis of my opinion will
be discussed
as follow
.

First
, the Internet is a place that we can find
many
unethical materials in it. Ignoring dark web, which is
very
dangerous
place,
all of the
users can access to the unethical contents like porn, abusive videos and the information which
is restricted
to be
publish
in public. Every young internet user (
e. g.
under 18 years
old
) can access to the porn movies and most of them
are addicted
to
watch
sexual intercourse that are inappropriate to them. It
become
more
dangerous
when
some
teachers confessed that students knows almost
all of the
porn stars and have a
little
information about
famous
poets and writers like Kafka,
Doma
, etc.
So
, internet is
very
destructive by spreading the sexual and unethical contexts.

Second, Internet is becoming
very
popular among
terrorists
such as ISIS, Al-Qaeda and
FARC
. They
use
internet to suicide, find members to
join
their group and plan of
terrorist
operations. It has reported that
terrorist
groups recruited
some
psychology and computer specialists that
were commissioned
to find victims by searching in the internet and talk with them
through
Skype and
social
networks
.
For instance
, most of the ISIS members, which arrested by Iranian security guards, confessed that they convinced to
join
ISIS
through
the Internet.
Also
,
terrorist
groups
usually
plan their
terrorist
operations
through
internet. The latest example of this
is occurred
in Istanbul, Turkey, which the
terrorist
, who killed more that 30
people
in a club,
gets
order from the top member
through
social
networks
.
So
, internet is becoming a threat to the
social
security and civilizations by
terrorist
operations, spreading fear among the citizens, etc.

Finally
, internet and
social
networks
are
very
effective in increasing rate of divorce among countries like Iran. Researchers indicated that most of the
people
, who their wife or husband cheated to them, stated that
social
networks
such as Telegram,
What&
#039;
sApp
, Facebook and Twitter as the main reason of their divorce. They stated that their partners
start
to cheat to them by establishing a romance relationship with others in such
networks
.
Furthermore
,
some of the
people
believed that their partners are spending most of their in
social
networks
and playing games
instead
of spending time along them.
So
, overusing internet is
very
harmful to society and culture. It caused
many
couples divorced.

In conclusion
, although internet is a
very
useful
tool
to
improve
our
civilization&
#039; s quality of life, misusing it may
has
severe
negative
effects on families, culture and even, humanity.
In general
, internet is becoming a
dangerous
tool
with
a lot of
threats to children and families. If we want to have a
good
life in a healthy society, we should
use
advertising to trigger
people
to
use
the internet
efficiently
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The invention of the Internet has had negative effects on your civilization. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 711

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
571 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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