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Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a more modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v.2

Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a more modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v. 2
When we want to choose a place for living, they consider many factors like convenient, accessibility to shopping centers, quietness, etc. Some people prefer to live in a modern apartment which is located in a busy street. In contrast, some people like to live in a big traditional and old house in a quiet location. Both of these properties has their own advantages and disadvantages. About the apartments, modern or typical, are shared by many people. Living in an apartment needs a different perspective toward the quality of life. When you live in apartment, you may have problem with your neighbors about parking, noises and some other issues. Generally, apartments are not a good place for children. It is boring for them because it does not has yard and a place to play with friends. Furthermore, in an apartment, everything is limited and you cannot change most of things based on your taste. You are not able to gardening in apartment and you may have trouble if you like pets, because in many apartments pets are forbidden. In contrast, you have a completely different situation if you choose to live in traditional house. You can access to more variety of facilities in a house. Most of the houses have a little or big yard which is suitable for gardening and playing with your kids and pets. Furthermore, you have more privacy in your house. In spite of apartments, which neighbors may listen to your conversations, in houses you can assure that nobody may not listen to your personal conversations. In addition, houses are suitable for growing children. They can play in yard, have their own personal big room. Also, houses mostly are located in suburbs which is very quiet and you can enjoy calmness. Finally, you do not have a parking problem in your own house as well as a big garage for your extra stuffs. Personally, I prefer a traditional house to live rest of my life. As I mentioned, traditional houses are big which provide you a lot of places to put your stuffs. As I like gardening and cultivating trees, I think personal house is more suitable for me. Furthermore, I really hate to share my place with others and I really freak out in busy places. I think it is possible to make my own traditional house modern by buying modern stuffs and systems. So, that is why I prefer traditional houses. To sum up, choosing between a modern apartment and traditional house is totally dependent on our personality. If you like shopping and live in a modern place, apartments are more suitable, but if you like to live in a calm and big place, house would be a better choice. But as a suggestion, please consider that you are not the only one who make decision about living place. You should know that if you want to have baby, apartment are not a good choice.
When we want to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for living, they consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors like convenient, accessibility to shopping centers, quietness, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
which
is located
in a busy street.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
in a quiet location. Both of these properties has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages.

About the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
or typical,
are shared
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Living in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
needs a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective toward the quality of life. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
, you may have problem with your neighbors about parking, noises and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other issues.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for children. It is boring for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "have"
has
yard and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to play with friends.
Furthermore
, in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
, everything
is limited
and you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the things") or simply say "most things".
most of things
based on your taste. You are not able to gardening in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
and you may have trouble if you like pets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
pets
are forbidden
.

In contrast
, you have a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situation if you choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. You can access to more variety of facilities in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
yard which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
for gardening and playing with your kids and pets.
Furthermore
, you have more privacy in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
, which neighbors may listen to your conversations, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
you can assure that nobody may not listen to your personal conversations.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
for growing children. They can play in yard, have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
room.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
mostly
are located
in suburbs which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quiet and you can enjoy calmness.
Finally
, you do not have a parking problem in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
as well
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
garage for your extra stuffs.

Personally
, I prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
rest of my life. As I mentioned,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
which provide you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to put your stuffs. As I like gardening and cultivating trees, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
for me.
Furthermore
, I
really
hate to share my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
with others and I
really
freak out in busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
by buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
stuffs and systems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
that is
why I prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

To sum up, choosing between a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is
totally
dependent on our personality. If you like shopping and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suitable
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if you like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a calm and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
would be a better choice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as a suggestion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
consider that you are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision about living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. You should know that if you want to have baby,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
are not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
66Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a more modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
490 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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