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Essay topics: TPO-29 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? To improve the quality of education, universities should spend money on salaries university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your a v.2

Essay topics: TPO-29 - Independent Writing Task To improve the quality of education, universities should spend money on salaries university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your a v. 2
Universities in all around the world compete each other to get higher rank among academic ranking institutions. They receive high endowments from public and private donors and spend them mostly on research, scholarships and university professors. Although many industrial psychology theorist believe higher compensations and salaries will increase performance of employees, results of many researches provide evidences against these assumptions. So, as I believe, university professor get higher salaries compare to other employees in university and this gap should not be expanded by new salary policies. Hence, I disagree with the prompt for following reasons. First of all, university can spend this money on better ways, such as facilitating laboratories, libraries, etc. As universities admit more students, they need more scientific resources and equipment. Most of tools in laboratories in many universities in my country, Iran, is old and outdated. Therefore, many talented students prefer to apply for foreign universities to access better facilities and resources. Buying new equipment is beneficial to university too. It helps students to do more researches and publish their results in high quality journals which attract many potential students to apply for the university, then, incomes of university will increase. So, enhancing salary of professors can be spend in more useful ways. Second of all, universities can consider this money as a budget for hiring new professors to departments. A university which has a lot of knowledgeable professors in departments can easily heighten quality of educations. Because, professors will try to increase their knowledge and devote more in education and research to get promotion. This is good for students too, because they will have more options to choice when they want to choose a lecturer for their courses. This policy motivates university departments to look for young talented professors which contribute university to reach their goals and university' s environment will not be in monopoly of certain special professors. So, hiring new professors can be good strategy for future too. Finally, universities can participate in student exchange program with other international and well-known universities by giving scholarships to good students. By sending students to foreign universities, students will experience new environment and they will be more knowledgeable because they can attend in some of famous professors’ classes. We all know that knowledgeable graduates from a university is equal to higher employers’ satisfaction too. So, if a university has a high reputation among employers, they can receive more budgets and more talented students will apply. So, exchanging students can improve universities income in a long term period of time. In conclusion, increasing professors’ income isn' t a good idea to uplift the quality of education. Actually, professors are receiving high salaries and universities should assign this money on motivating students to be more active in research and education through offering various scholarships. This will never happens unless universities employ knowledgeable professors and offer facilities to students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
in all around the world compete each other to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher rank among academic ranking institutions. They receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
endowments from public and private donors and spend them
mostly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, scholarships and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industrial psychology theorist believe higher compensations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
will increase performance of employees, results of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
provide evidences against these assumptions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as I believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
compare to other employees in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and this gap should not
be expanded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
policies.
Hence
, I disagree with the prompt for following reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can spend this money on better ways, such as facilitating laboratories, libraries, etc. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
admit more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they need more scientific resources and equipment.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the tools") or simply say "Most tools".
Most of tools
in laboratories in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in my country, Iran, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and outdated.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to apply for foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to access better facilities and resources. Buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
equipment is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
too. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
and publish their results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
quality journals which attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to apply for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, then, incomes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will increase.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
can be
Consider using the past participle "spent"?
spend
in more useful ways.

Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can consider this money as a budget for hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
to departments. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
in departments can
easily
heighten quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
will try to increase their knowledge and devote more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promotion. This is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will have more options to choice when they want to choose a lecturer for their courses. This policy motivates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
departments to look for young talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
which contribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to reach their goals and
Possible spelling mistake found.
university&
#039; s environment will not be in monopoly of certain special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
strategy for future too.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
exchange program with other international and well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
by giving scholarships to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. By sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment and
they will be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledgeable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can attend in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors’
classes. We all know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledgeable
graduates from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is equal to higher employers’ satisfaction too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
reputation among employers, they can receive more budgets and more talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will apply.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, exchanging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
income in a long term period of time.

In conclusion
, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors’
income
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to uplift the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Actually,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
are receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should assign this money on motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be more active in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
through offering various scholarships. This will never happens unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
and offer facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
81Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay topics: TPO-29 - Independent Writing Task To improve the quality of education, universities should spend money on salaries university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your a v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
480 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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