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It has been proven that smoking kills. In some countries, it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. v.3

It has been proven that smoking kills. In some countries, it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. v. 3
Smoking is dangerous and injurious to health. Some countries have taken a forward step and banned smoking in all public places except designated areas. I strongly agree that all countries should make such rules to safeguard the lives of people. Everyone agrees to the fact that smoking is very harmful. It not only badly affects the health of smokers but also other people around him/her, mainly due to cigarette smoke. Applying the rules to smoke only in certain public areas will protect the non-smokers.   Further, some people have allergies with smoke. Smoking in a public area may unintentionally trigger their allergic reactions which could be fatal. Moreover, specified smoking areas are designed in such a way that these areas would not have anything which could easily catch fire, so remains of cigarette litter may not be harmful. Regardless of the country boundaries, this rule has already been applied by some industries like civil aviation. Smoking is prohibited on all passenger flights. Smoke detectors have already in place on all planes. Even plane lavatories have smoke detectors.   Similarly, within the country boundaries, some organisations have implemented these rules, like a private bus system. Smoking is not allowed while people are on board. People are also not allowed to smoke while they are sitting on their desk in their offices. A place outside the office building usually alongside the parking is specified for smoking. In the end, it is concluded that lawmakers of each country should make these rules to banish the smoking except in some specific areas mentioned earlier.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and injurious to health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have taken a forward step and banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in all public places except designated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to safeguard the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
badly
affects the health of smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around him/her,
mainly
due to cigarette
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
. Applying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in certain public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will protect the non-smokers.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have allergies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
in a public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
may
unintentionally
trigger their allergic reactions which could be fatal.
Moreover
, specified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are designed
in such a way that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would not have anything which could
easily
catch fire,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
remains of cigarette litter may not be harmful.

Regardless of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
boundaries, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
has already
been applied
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
industries like civil aviation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is prohibited
on all passenger flights.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoke
detectors have already in place on all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
lavatories have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
detectors.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Similarly
, within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
boundaries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
have implemented these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, like a private bus system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are on board.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
also
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
while they are sitting on their desk in their offices. A place outside the office building
usually
alongside the parking
is specified
for smoking.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it
is concluded
that lawmakers of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to banish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
except in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
mentioned earlier.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been proven that smoking kills. In some countries, it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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