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It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance? v.6

It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 6
Balancing lifestyle and work has been a challenging topic ever since human started discoveries on the earth. Moreover, it is observed that few great people, who have contributed to the world, had no time to think about this issue. I completely believe that as social beings, we owe to adopt certain protocols to overcome this problem. This is essential to maintain good relationships. By this I mean to say, family bonds are fragile, hence one who is dedicated to work also needs to allocate appropriate time to the family. In India, for example, a recent news reported that a majority of the divorce cases pertain to the couples, who do not share quality time together. Certainly, even though work is worship, individuals must spend time maintaining good relations. Another key reason for this balance is to maintain good health. In other words, human beings are designed to take appropriate rest to overcome the stress caused while they put in efforts. In the past, for instance, there were a lot of great personalities like Albert Einstein and Aryabhatta, who submerged into the research and sacrificed sleep and food. They were undoubtedly legends who contributed to the well being of the human race, but unfortunately they lost their lives at an early age as they developed adverse health conditions. Thus, excess work and negligence of these primary factors may be hazardous. In conclusion, maintaining a good ratio between work and life is vital. Otherwise, this may lead to negative consequences such as ruining the family bonds and the health. It is my hope that in this competitive world, people may attain this balance and seek harmony.
Balancing lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has been a challenging topic ever since human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
discoveries on the earth.
Moreover
, it
is observed
that few great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have contributed to the world, had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about this issue. I completely believe that as social beings, we owe to adopt certain protocols to overcome this problem.

This is essential to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationships. By this I mean to say, family bonds are fragile,
hence
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is dedicated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
also
needs to allocate appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to the family. In India,
for example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "recent news".
a recent news
reported that a majority of the divorce cases pertain to the couples,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not share quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together.
Certainly
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is worship, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relations.

Another key reason for this balance is to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health.
In other words
, human beings
are designed
to take appropriate rest to overcome the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
caused while they put in efforts. In the past,
for instance
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
great personalities like Albert Einstein and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aryabhatta
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
submerged into the research and sacrificed sleep and food. They were
undoubtedly
legends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
contributed to the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of the human race,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately they lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
at an early age as they developed adverse health conditions.
Thus
, excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and negligence of these primary factors may be hazardous.

In conclusion
, maintaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
ratio between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and life is vital.
Otherwise
, this may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences such as ruining the family bonds and the health. It is my hope that in this competitive world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may attain this balance and seek harmony.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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