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In come countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do think are the causes of these problems and what measures should be take to solve them? v.1

In come countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do think are the causes of these problems and what measures should be take to solve them? v. 1
These days, health is the major concerning issues like people of some countries are lowering in their levels of fitness due to increase in their weight. This essay will discuss the important causes of this problem, for instance, sedentary lifestyle and eating habits and their possible solutions. Rise of weight is coming about due to quite a few reasons. Primarily, sedentary lifestyle is worth mentioning, which affects mainly our youth. We can, for example, see that there are so many electronics we have incorporated into our lives, like automobiles, auto-washers, and dishwashers, to facilitate our most of the work so that, too much physical activity could not need to be accomplished. Another reason is our eating habits which lead us to aggravating our own well-being. Copying the western style of eating ruined our youth in their diets and make them only dependent on junks, which are rich in fat and calorie content. Indeed, many chain restaurants are promoting this trend to sell their food without knowing the long-term devastating effects of such campaign. We can handle the situations mentioned above by putting in a little determination. People should modify their easy and relaxing mode of life to an active one. There should be, such as, more labour as compared to robotics which will in turn cause the excessive fat burn out and increased metabolism which would keep our bodies fit and healthy. In the same manner, the diet should also be noticed to get rid of any type of preserved or processed food. Although, it is hard to completely avoid the ready-made foodstuff, following a proper diet plan with little incaution is allowed. In conclusion, to stay strong should be the aim of everyone for their own vigour. Healthiness can be achieved by staying mobile and eat clean, this could also increase the vitality.
These days, health is the major concerning issues like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries are lowering in their levels of fitness due to increase in their weight. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
causes of this problem,
for instance
, sedentary lifestyle and eating habits and their possible solutions.

Rise of weight is coming about due to quite a few reasons.
Primarily
, sedentary lifestyle is worth mentioning, which affects
mainly
our youth. We can,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
electronics we have incorporated into our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, like automobiles, auto-washers, and dishwashers, to facilitate our most of the work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, too much physical activity could not need to
be accomplished
. Another reason is our eating habits which lead us to aggravating our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
well-being. Copying the western style of eating ruined our youth in their diets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
dependent on junks, which are rich in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and calorie content.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chain restaurants are promoting this trend to sell their food without knowing the long-term devastating effects of such campaign.

We can handle the situations mentioned above by putting in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
determination.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should modify their easy and relaxing mode of life to an active one. There should be, such as, more
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
as compared to robotics which will in turn cause the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
burn out and increased metabolism which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our bodies fit and healthy. In the same manner, the diet should
also
be noticed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of any type of preserved or processed food. Although, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to completely avoid the ready-made foodstuff, following a proper diet plan with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Possible spelling mistake found.
incaution
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
.

In conclusion
, to stay strong should be the aim of everyone for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
vigour
. Healthiness can
be achieved
by staying mobile and eat clean, this could
also
increase the vitality.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In come countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do think are the causes of these problems and what measures should be take to solve them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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