Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. v. 4
The debate regarding the use of social media among youngsters is ongoing. There is no end to this topic. There are always certain pros and cons of everything and at the end, we shall discuss some solution to deal with this problem. We should start with the positives of social media. As we are aware there is an abundance of knowledge all around the globe. There is no fix time of learning. We get to know so many things every day and the human mind have this desire to know everything. Mostly, a youngster learns from school, however, there is a life outside school where these young people spend most of the time so the learning should never end. It should be easily accessible on need basis. This purpose is resolved through the internet. Platforms like the Google and the YouTube are teaching children in fun ways. Any question you have, just type it on Google and you have your answers or you want to learn through videos, just access the YouTube and the need is fulfilled. However, there are certainly negatives also. Unsupervised access can lead to some serious issues. As a child's mind is like the water, you can mould it in any shape. There are many porn websites which are freely accessible on the net. So these children can get addicted to it. Excessive use of such portals can make one addictive and it might lead to any criminal activity in the future. Furthermore, on one side a person can learn math on the YouTube, but he can also learn to make a bomb. So, it is vital to educate these youngsters to eradicate any future issue. To conclude, it can be said that using the social media is fruitful, but only with some education. It is not necessary that a parent can be present at all times his child needs. Hence, it is a necessity to teach these young guys some sense of good and bad. Rather than supervising, we should make them aware of all the plus and minus points.
The debate regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social media among youngsters is ongoing. There is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to this topic. There are always certain pros and cons of everything and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, we shall discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution to deal with this problem.

We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the positives of social media.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we are aware there is an abundance of knowledge all around the globe. There is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
time of learning. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things every day and the human mind have this desire to know everything.
Mostly
, a youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
from school,
however
, there is a life outside school where these young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend most of the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the learning should never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. It should be
easily
accessible on need basis. This purpose
is resolved
through the internet. Platforms like the Google and the YouTube are teaching children in fun ways. Any question you have,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
type it on Google and you have your answers or you want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
through videos,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
access the YouTube and the need
is fulfilled
.

However
, there are
certainly
negatives
also
. Unsupervised access can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious issues. As a child's mind is like the water, you can
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
it in any shape. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
porn websites which are
freely
accessible on the net.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these children can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to it. Excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such portals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one addictive and it might lead to any criminal activity in the future.
Furthermore
, on one side a person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
math on the YouTube,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a bomb.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is vital to educate these youngsters to eradicate any future issue.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that using the social media is fruitful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
education. It is not necessary that a parent can be present at all times his child needs.
Hence
, it is a necessity to teach these young guys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sense of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
Rather
than supervising, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aware of all the plus and minus points.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts