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It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. v. 6
In the last decades, many fields of our society have had a rapid development which has brought a several changes with it. In today’s society it is necessary to get the right people into the right seats. However, older workers may set in their ways and potentially against changes, I would still consider the importance of their valuable experience in all workplaces. Broadly spoken, elder workers gained knowledge during all their work life, and this is a benefit that has to be kept in every environment. Despite having a deep and modern knowledge acquired during the studies can be really helpful, hands on experience is really valuable for every kind of job. For example, An Engineer who used to work in a construction industry for almost 20 years, he will be more competent and prolific in dealing with issues and challenges that he might facing during his career. For this reason, although workers over 50 are not very responsive to change, they are still really useful. Moreover, older people are more reliable and respectful than younger workers. That can be seen with the trend of many department store in the UK to take on older people. This act of behaviors are really important in the prosperity in any kind of working environment. Furthermore, despite the progress of business has to be stimulated, social reasons like employment of people from different age groups is still really crucial for the security of our societies. A slower but sustainable development has to be granted in order to maintain the right balance among the people of a whole community. On the other hands, there are a number of job roles that enforce employers to employ younger workers. Since physiologists confirmed that the memory declines with age for people, it will be fruitless to appoint an older worker in specific industries. For example, technological industry that requires a person who is capable of dealing with a numerous amount of numbers, calculation, systems and information which are more available with younger employees than older workers. In conclusion, I believe despite employing older people might be a challenge in some particular jobs due to some reasons such as inflexibility to change, they can still be very useful and producers in many kinds of job environment for their substantial and valuable experience. In future I think corporates will get better at equalizes opportunities between younger and older workers to achieve better outcomes.
In the last decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields of our society have had a rapid development which has brought a several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
with it. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into the right seats.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
may set in their ways and
potentially
against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, I would
still
consider the importance of their valuable experience in all workplaces.

Broadly
spoken, elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
gained knowledge during all their work life, and this is a benefit that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in every environment. Despite having a deep and modern knowledge acquired during the studies can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
helpful, hands on experience is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
valuable for every kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, An Engineer who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work in a construction industry for almost 20 years, he will be more competent and prolific in dealing with issues and challenges that he might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "face"
facing
during his career.
For this reason
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
over 50 are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
responsive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, they are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
useful.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more reliable and respectful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. That can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
with the trend of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
department store in the UK to take on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This act of behaviors are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the prosperity in any kind of working environment.

Furthermore
, despite the progress of business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be stimulated
, social reasons like employment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
age groups is
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
crucial for the security of our societies. A slower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sustainable development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be granted
in order to maintain the right balance among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a whole community.

On the other hands, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
roles that enforce employers to employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. Since physiologists confirmed that the memory declines with age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it will be fruitless to appoint an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
in specific industries.
For example
, technological industry that requires a person who is capable of dealing with a numerous amount of numbers, calculation, systems and information which are more available with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
employees than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
workers.

In conclusion
, I believe despite employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might be a challenge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons such as inflexibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, they can
still
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful and producers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
Did you mean "jobs"?
job
environment for their substantial and valuable experience. In
The comma is probably missing here: "future, I".
future I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better at equalizes opportunities between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to achieve better outcomes.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. v. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
404 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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