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It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and for this reason, younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and for this reason, younger workers are to be preferred. v. 2
As we know that day by day the changes in automation are increasing due to which the old life gap affect the working culture and environment. As we know that after the maturity of 50 the rapid changes are not being accepted by the people as they are used to with their old machinery and old working style. Automation always affects the working environment and the old age of the employees. We know that the after the half of the old life the employees are not much more responsive for the change because if the working culture changes they are always in fear with the employment. They are not in a position to accept the rapid change in the working style. We know that the old is gold, but they are always in the favour of old working culture and old ideas because they are used to with that idea and with the working environment. Both the opinions are having different views. I am expressing both the views. I agree with the point because after the youth of 50 the person is having less power to regain or to accept the new challenges or the ideas as the old life is always matters to person's mentality. As he/she is always trying to make growth or stability with the old ideas. I disagree because it doesn't mean that if new automation arrives the 50 plus maturity of the employees are not ready to accept they are always agree and ready to accept, but take time learn and when all are ready they always accept the new ideas and challenges.
As we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that day by day the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in automation are increasing due to which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
life gap affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
culture and environment.

As we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that after the maturity of 50 the rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are not being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
machinery and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
style. Automation always affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age of the employees.

We
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know
that
Duplicated 'the' in the phrase: 'the after the'. Did you mean "after the"?
the after the
half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
life the employees are not much more responsive for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
they are always in fear with the employment. They are not in a position to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
the rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
style.

We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
is gold,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are always in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
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old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to with that
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idea
and with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment.

Both the opinions are having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views. I am expressing both the views. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after the youth of 50 the person is having less power to regain or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
the new challenges or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
life is always matters to person's mentality. As he/she is always trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
growth or stability with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

I disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it doesn't mean that if new automation arrives the 50 plus maturity of the employees are not ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
they are always
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
and ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
take time learn and when all are ready they always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
and challenges.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and for this reason, younger workers are to be preferred. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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