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It has been believed that people who read for pleasure have developed imagination and good language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It has been believed that people who read for pleasure have developed imagination and good language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. v. 1
In this new generation most of people addicted in this present technology, and in past decade masses want to read newspaper everytime. Nowadays, the mankind trusts and have a progress their mind who is reading, and their idiom also they increase their knowledge, which is the human who is watching the television. In this essay, i will agree that human kind who is more in skim through they are wide in thinking and also intelligent. Other people also they are disagree, because they learn more skill and enhance their brain in watching movies or vedios. To begin with, the society they believe if they watery their common sense they have a capability to collect more ideas. Result in this, the person who is hobby is due their sense make it open minded and also they are afraid to debate, and share their opinion. For example, the lawyer, the teacher and the call centre, their memory is healthy and more information so that they can spread their wisdom. However, communication is the best way to understand for the people. Although, not all people they love in reading because most of them they become lazy. Apart from this, in this issue the human also disagree, because they want to competence even if they are looking. The youngsters, in this new generation they are more knowlegeable while they are addicted in this social media. Because of this technology the populace they are familiarity, even though they are not pursue in reading. For example, the toddler nowadays, they did not know decipher but they have crafted, while they are watch in the vedio. Moreover, it is also depend of the good quality of individual, if their brain is smart they cope up easily. In conclusion, human should believed that reading and imagination they become excellence, not in the watching movies. Because their feed and also they having idea in words and speak, in my opinion, people should choose the reading because their mind make it brigth as well as they expertise.
In this new generation most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted in this present technology, and in past decade masses want to read newspaper
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
. Nowadays, the mankind trusts and have a progress their mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, and their idiom
also
they increase their knowledge, which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is watching the television. In this essay,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
kind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is more in skim through they are wide in thinking and
also
intelligent. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they learn more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and enhance their brain in watching movies or
Possible spelling mistake found.
vedios
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the society they believe if they watery their common sense they have a capability to collect more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Result in this, the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is hobby is due their sense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
and
also
they are afraid to debate, and share their opinion.
For example
, the lawyer, the teacher and the call
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, their memory is healthy and more information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can spread their wisdom.
However
, communication is the best way to understand for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of them they become lazy.

Apart from this, in this issue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
also
disagree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to competence even if they are looking. The youngsters, in this new generation they are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlegeable
while they
are addicted
in this social media.
Because of this
technology the populace they are familiarity,
even though
they are not
Consider using a past participle here: "pursued".
pursue
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
For example
, the toddler nowadays, they did not know decipher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have crafted, while they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vedio
.
Moreover
, it is
also
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depend on".
depend
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of individual, if their brain is smart they cope up
easily
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "believe"
believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and imagination they become excellence, not in the watching movies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
their feed and
also
Did you mean "they're having", "they are having", or "they were having"?
they having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in words and speak, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
brigth
as well
as
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they expertise
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been believed that people who read for pleasure have developed imagination and good language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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