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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Agree or disagree? v.8

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Agree or disagree? v. 8
Nowadays, online shopping has become a global phenomenon. Gone are the days when people spent their precious hours in shopping centres to search for what they need. I completely agree with the above statement and I will support my views on this subject with relevant examples. The biggest problem with shopping has been looking for the right product or fashion. This has been the biggest problem in the brick and mortar stores with limited space to showcase their products. For example, in a recent survey done in India, 75% of youth living in India believe the shops do not keep the latest fashion, whereas, 55% of youth believe that even if they find what they need, they end up not finding the right size. This is an obvious problem as the shops have to pay for every inch of space they hold and it become practically impossible to have everything under one roof. The products showcased on e-commerce can directly arrive from the source where the product is getting manufactured, so you find the latest and trendiest options to choose from and you will seldom come across a situation that you do not find your size. The second reason is convenience. In the recent book, 'The mind of the online shopper' the author did some further studies on why the online shopping world has eclipsed the regular shops. The most important insight was that 70% online shoppers buy between 9pm to 1am. To put things in perspective, they do the shopping at their convenience and that happens to be the night time, when they are done for the day and are at peace. How many shops would you find open late at night. There are some people who still prefer going to the shops to purchase, most of them would love to explore online shopping but are not able to take a step towards trying it out. Some of them tried online shopping and have been victims of late delivery or issues pertaining to returns of the product. Like the video could not kill the radio stars, shopping will always remain but drastically shrink their presence. Finding what you need, and at your own convenience are the two most important reasons why online shopping has become a global phenomenon. It will lead to the closing of many shops across the world until they find their own niche and bring something the e-commerce cannot bring to their target audience.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become a global phenomenon. Gone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
the days when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spent their precious hours in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to search for what they need. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement and I will support my views on this subject with relevant examples.

The biggest problem with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has been looking for the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or fashion. This has been the biggest problem in the brick and mortar stores with limited space to showcase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, in a recent survey done in India, 75% of youth living in India believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the latest fashion, whereas, 55% of youth believe that even if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
what they need, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up not finding the right size. This is an obvious problem as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for every inch of space they hold and it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
practically
impossible to have everything under one roof. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
showcased on e-commerce can
directly
arrive from the source where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is getting manufactured,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the latest and trendiest options to choose from and you will seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across a situation that you do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
your size.

The second reason is convenience. In the recent book, 'The mind of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopper' the author did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
further
studies on why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
world has eclipsed the regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
insight was that 70%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shoppers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
between 9pm to 1am. To put things in perspective, they do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at their convenience and that happens to be the
This word is normally spelled as one.
night time
, when they
are done
for the day and are at peace. How
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
would you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
open late at night.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
still
prefer going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, most of them would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are not able to take a step towards trying it out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them tried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and have been victims of late delivery or issues pertaining to returns of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Like the video could not kill the radio stars,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will always remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
drastically
shrink their presence.

Finding what you need, and at your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
convenience are the two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become a global phenomenon. It will lead to the closing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
across the world until they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
niche and bring something the e-commerce cannot bring to their target audience.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Agree or disagree? v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
408 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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