Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, there is a push to get as many young people going to university as possible. To what extent do you think this effort is a worthwhile one? Do you think some people can benefit from not going to university? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

In many countries, there is a push to get as many young people going to university as possible. Do you think some people can benefit from not going to university? v. 1
Nowadays, pushing young people to go to university is spread in many countries. Some people agree with this way of behaving, while other people think that this effort is not worthwhile. Compared to the past, today there are a lot of young people who decide to continue their studies and one of the reasons of this difference could be because their families have the possibility to maintain them from the economical point of view. Interestingly, there are different reasons which push young people to go to university: some of them want to follow their dreams and to study in order to become what they desire, instead others want to become rich and to play an important role inside society. However, there are few students who accept to continue their studies without a real reason, mainly because they are forced by their parents. Generally speaking, I have noticed this effort to convince young people to go to university, simply because every parent wants the best future for their children. Nevertheless, one of the crucial problems, which is spread in my country, Italy, is that there will not be a job for all these students when they finish their paths. Because of this crisis, the effort to push and convince young people to go to university is not worthwhile. In addition to this, many people state that those young people who do not go to university, manage to find a job and to go into the society early. Therefore, it seems that who gets this last choice, has the opportunity to get more benefits. To conclude, there are a lot of parents who make many efforts to let their children continue their studies. This effort is honourable, but it probably is not worthwhile in those countries where there is a strong and a deep crisis from the working point of view.
Nowadays, pushing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is spread
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this way of behaving, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
is not worthwhile.

Compared to the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
decide to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and one of the reasons of this difference could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their families have the possibility to maintain them from the economical point of view.
Interestingly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons which push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them want to follow their dreams and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in order to become what they desire,
instead
others want to become rich and to play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role inside society.
However
, there are few students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
accept to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
without a real reason,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are forced
by their parents.

Generally
speaking, I have noticed this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every parent wants the best future for their children.
Nevertheless
, one of the crucial problems, which
is spread
in my country, Italy, is that there will not be a job for all these students when they finish their paths.
Because of this
crisis, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
to push and convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is not worthwhile.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
state that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, manage to find a job and to go into the society early.
Therefore
, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
this last choice, has the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more benefits.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their children continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
honourable
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
probably
is not worthwhile in those countries where there is a strong and a deep crisis from the working point of view.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, there is a push to get as many young people going to university as possible. Do you think some people can benefit from not going to university? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts