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People who read of pleasure have better imagination and language skills than those who prefer watching TV To what extent do you agree v.1

People who read of pleasure have better imagination and language skills than those who prefer watching TV 1
In recent years, several job sectors have given extra benefits to their staff members, including paid holidays; however, there are some people argue that this should be provided every worker irrespective of their positions in their offices, while others oppose this. In my opinion, I strongly the latter's viewpoint. One possible issue of granting equal days of vacation for all staff in a work place is that this may damage institutions' day to day functioning. In other words, this incentive may create dissatisfaction among workers as junior and senior employees have the same number of holidays. Eventually, highly qualified and experienced workers tend to feel that their contributions do not adequately recognised, which may affect their loyalty towards their firm. Yearly paid leaves, for instance, cannot be granted for all, which is sanctioned based on their purely on their positions and the length of work experience, according to experts. Apart from this, leave days may cause some serious financial burden to the company. When everyone getting same days of vacations impose a huge amount of financial burden since these days are paid. By contrast, if top positioned staffs were allowed to have this facility, employers may be affected by this since these high rank staff are few in number. Additionally, this scenario would prevent attracting other qualified job seekers to this company as they cannot give any preference according to their position. Consequently, these kinds of business firms tend to loss experts from various fields. By way of conclusion, even though people have different consideration regarding granting number of leaves to each worker, I again reaffirm that this should be divided on the basis of hierarchy.
In recent years, several job sectors have
given
extra benefits to their
staff
members, including paid holidays;
however
, there are
some
people
argue that this should
be provided
every
worker
irrespective of their positions in their offices, while others oppose this. In my opinion, I
strongly
the latter's viewpoint.

One possible issue of granting equal days of vacation for all
staff
in a work place is that this may damage institutions' day to day functioning.
In other words
, this incentive may create dissatisfaction among
workers
as junior and senior employees have the same number of holidays.
Eventually
,
highly
qualified and experienced
workers
tend to feel that their contributions do not
adequately
recognised
, which may affect their loyalty towards their firm. Yearly paid
leaves
,
for instance
, cannot
be granted
for all, which
is sanctioned
based on their
purely
on their positions and the length of work experience, according to experts.

Apart from this,
leave
days may cause
some
serious financial burden to the
company
. When everyone
getting
same days of vacations impose a huge amount of financial burden since these days
are paid
. By contrast, if top positioned
staffs
were
allowed
to have this facility, employers may be
affected
by this since these high rank
staff
are
few in number
.
Additionally
, this scenario would
prevent
attracting other qualified job seekers to this
company
as they cannot give any preference according to their position.
Consequently
, these kinds of business firms tend to loss experts from various fields.

By way of conclusion,
even though
people
have
different
consideration regarding granting number of
leaves
to each
worker
, I again reaffirm that this should
be divided
on the basis of hierarchy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People who read of pleasure have better imagination and language skills than those who prefer watching TV 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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