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Is this a positive or negative developmentIs that governments spend a huge amount of money building public transport? Discuss both sides v.2

Is this a positive or negative developmentIs that governments spend a huge amount of money building public transport? 2
Transportation methods have changed drastically these days. Lots of nations have allocated an extra budget to enhance their public transportation. However, the question of whether such an investment in this field has a positive or negative impact on individuals is arguably the most debatable one. This essay aims to discuss this interesting topic in further detail and before coming to a conclusion. To begin with, there is no doubt that public transportation has provided a plethora of great benefits to people. Firstly, it participates conspicuously in lessening local pollution and traffic congestion. To illustrate, using different options of public transportation allow individuals to get rid of using their private vehicles in their daily basis. As a result of this move, the amount of fossil fuel that used by their cars will be reduced dramatically and lead to alleviating pollution. Secondly, using public transportation might increase people’s productivity. To elaborate, commuters who spend a long time to reach their destinations can utilize their time by reading, learning or even relaxing which’s not applicable if they are driving. On the flip side, public transit has some drawbacks for people. First of all, the trips schedule and route are fixed. This issue in fact makes this option inappropriate for many people who would like to reach their destination without passing all stop points that buses or metro do. Finally, there is no privacy in public transportation. In other words, many strangers might hear your phone conversation or even look at your mobile screen and you can do nothing for that. To sum up, although public transit might has offered poor privacy as well as inconvenient trip schedule, I wholeheartedly believe that it’s the cheapest, most comfortable and safest option to many individuals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Transportation
methods have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
these days. Lots of nations have allocated an extra budget to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
However
,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
such an investment in this field has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on individuals is
arguably
the most debatable one. This essay aims to discuss this interesting topic in
further
detail and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has provided a plethora of great benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, it participates
conspicuously
in lessening local pollution and traffic congestion. To illustrate, using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of using their private vehicles in their daily basis.
As a result
of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
, the amount of fossil fuel that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by their cars will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
dramatically
and lead to alleviating pollution.
Secondly
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
might increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
productivity. To elaborate, commuters who spend a long time to reach their destinations can utilize their time by reading, learning or even relaxing which’s not applicable if they are driving.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the trips schedule and route are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
. This issue in fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this option inappropriate for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who would like to reach their destination without passing all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
points that buses or metro do.
Finally
, there is no privacy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strangers might hear your phone conversation or even look at your mobile screen and you can do nothing for that.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit might has offered poor privacy
as well
as inconvenient trip schedule, I
wholeheartedly
believe that it’s the cheapest, most comfortable and safest option to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Is this a positive or negative developmentIs that governments spend a huge amount of money building public transport? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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