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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement, playing sports teaches people more lessons about life v.1

, playing sports teaches people more lessons about life v. 1
Doing sports brings an indivudial well-being both mentally and physically. Doing sports not only strengthens our muscles and bons but also develops our awareness, and it provides us with sense of fresh ness. When it comes to various lessons we can gain from playing sports, controversy surrounds the issue of whether sports teach us beneficial lessons be applied to our daily life or not. Some people are of the opinion that sports just should be considered as fun and enjoyment. I believe, however, being involved in sports would creat a wide variety of lessons about life. One of the most interesting aspects of the current discussion which needs to be reflected is that sports creat two key features which enable you to achieve your goal. When an athlete prepare himself for attending a competetion, facing a lot of difficulties and obstacles would be undeniable facts for him. Since he has set his goad to overcome other competitors, he just tries to do exercise, primes himself to exceed his rivals, no matter whether there is hardships in the middle of the way of gaining his goals. The fact that he might get lost improve the sense of perseverance of the atlethe. He persisits in achieving his goal. Moreover, after joining a team, experience of a player will learn how important concentrating would be. A player will find that just strong concentration enables him to evaluate the next response of the rival, which will result in his achievement. As you can see, perseverance and concentration are at least two important lessons that a player can gain through involving in a game. Another noteworthy aspect of the ongoing discussion which demands to be reflected is that if you play as a team member, you can gain some valuable strategies which would could be exerted in your career. Think about a soccer team. All members are required to achieve one goal, wining the compettition. They need to get a long well with each other and set priorities over the group' s aim not their own personal purposes, which might contribute to their defeat. Now, consider the same situation in a company. Project will not go through unless not only do all members creat friendly atmosphere at company, but they also take their specific responsibilities to achieve their common goal, directly affecting their performance. To sum up, both having self-confidence and strong spirit, and of course, ability to work as a team workers are the result of doing sports.
Doing
sports
brings an
indivudial
well-being both mentally and
physically
. Doing
sports
not
only
strengthens our muscles and
bons
but
also
develops our awareness, and it provides us with sense of fresh
ness
. When it
comes
to various
lessons
we can gain from playing
sports
, controversy surrounds the issue of whether
sports
teach us beneficial
lessons
be applied
to our daily life or not.
Some
people
are of the opinion that
sports
just
should
be considered
as fun and enjoyment. I believe,
however
,
being involved
in
sports
would
creat
a wide variety of
lessons
about life.

One of the most interesting aspects of the
current
discussion which needs to
be reflected
is that
sports
creat
two key features which enable you to achieve your
goal
. When an athlete prepare himself for attending a
competetion
, facing
a lot of
difficulties and obstacles would be undeniable facts for him. Since he has set his goad to overcome other competitors, he
just
tries to do exercise, primes himself to exceed his rivals, no matter whether
there is hardships
in the middle of the way of gaining his
goals
. The fact that he might
get
lost
improve
the sense of perseverance of the
atlethe
. He
persisits
in achieving his
goal
.
Moreover
, after joining a
team
, experience of a player will learn how
important
concentrating would be. A player will find that
just
strong concentration enables him to evaluate the
next
response of the rival, which will result in his achievement. As you can
see
, perseverance and concentration are at least two
important
lessons
that a player can gain through involving in a game.

Another noteworthy aspect of the ongoing discussion which demands to
be reflected
is that if you play as a
team
member, you can gain
some
valuable strategies which
would could
be exerted
in your career.
Think
about a soccer
team
. All members
are required
to achieve one
goal
, wining the
compettition
. They need to
get
a long well with each other and set priorities over the
group&
#039; s aim not their
own
personal purposes, which might contribute to their defeat.
Now
, consider the same situation in a
company
. Project will not go through unless not
only
do all members
creat
friendly atmosphere at
company
,
but
they
also
take their specific responsibilities to achieve their common
goal
,
directly
affecting their performance.

To sum up, both having self-confidence and strong spirit, and
of course
, ability to work as a
team
workers
are the result of doing
sports
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay , playing sports teaches people more lessons about life v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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