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Is there any value in studying academic subjects that are not useful in terms of generating wealth for the country v.1

Is there any value in studying academic subjects that are not useful in terms of generating wealth for the country v. 1
Nowadays, the education on total plays an essential part in economic of countries. Some people are in doubt if there any benefits from studying subjects which cannot provide prosperity. It is my firm conviction that all academic studies can offer useful outcomes. I believe that in sequence they lead to life well-being of students. Also, many subjects are not about money, but about literacy which is very essential as well. First, any knowledge obtained from educational establishments can transfer into business. Many scientific and technical subjects teach students how to be tech-savvy. So that after graduating some technophiles often develop unique technological devices which are innovative and draw money as investments. Secondly, it is vital for each society to be posted how things work. Humanitarian subjects make sense to be studied due to necessity for understanding laws and economics, while the subjects like physics gain value due to bringing awareness about devices, we use every day. For example, these days most of prosperous people can make investments via their smartphone, they are independent about usage their microwave oven or they prefer a smart refrigerator because they know its safety and convenience. I suppose that these pieces of knowledge are about success and survival in the modern competing world. In conclusion, academic subjects, whatever it is, offer us knowledge. This one can transfer into skills which we can use to make money. Non-economic subjects frequently bring talented individuals which can make innovations. When it comes to other subjects, they can help people gain literacy for well-being in their life.
Nowadays, the education on total plays an essential part in economic of countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in doubt if
Please check whether a verb is missing here or whether 'there' should be 'their'.
there any
benefits from studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which cannot provide prosperity. It is my firm conviction that all academic studies can offer useful outcomes. I believe that in sequence they lead to life well-being of students.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are not about money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
about literacy which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential
as well
.

First
, any knowledge obtained from educational establishments can transfer into business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientific and technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
teach students how to be tech-savvy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that after graduating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technophiles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
develop unique technological devices which are innovative and draw money as investments.

Secondly
, it is vital for each society to
be posted
how things work. Humanitarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sense to
be studied
due to necessity for understanding laws and economics, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like physics gain value due to bringing awareness about devices, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
every day.
For example
, these days most of prosperous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
investments via their smartphone, they are independent about usage their microwave
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
oven or
they prefer a smart refrigerator
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know its safety and convenience. I suppose that these pieces of knowledge are about success and survival in the modern competing world.

In conclusion
, academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, whatever it is, offer us knowledge. This one can transfer into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money. Non-economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
frequently
bring talented individuals which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
innovations. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gain literacy for well-being in their life.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Is there any value in studying academic subjects that are not useful in terms of generating wealth for the country v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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