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is protecting the environment governments duty or people? v.1

is protecting the environment governments duty or people? v. 1
Many people believe that the protection of the environment is the people`s responsibility, while others think the government is in charge of this kind of activity. I believe both should take care of nature and the environment. People can do a lot to conserve the environment and I think their power to protect it, is more than governments because of limitations in government staff and budget. For instance, individuals can be decreased the demands for plastic as a main source of unrecyclable substance in nature by lessening their usage of plastic products, in other words, they can bring their bag for shopping instead of using a plastic bag. Moreover, individuals can protect mother nature by avoiding littering the environment, especially when they are in nature and where there is no bin and also motivate and educate their children to behave like that. Governments also have a tremendous effect on the environment. They can promote programs that learn their citizens to be more friendly with the environment. Also, they should be allocated and legislated some laws and fines for people, manufactures and industries, polluting the environment or force the industries and companies with pollution to move far off the cities. Also, they must allocate top-notch standards for motoring vehicles as the main source of gas emission and air pollution. Moreover, they can contribute to international treatments such as Paris treatment and make a schedule to decrease their emission or help developing countries to do that. In conclusion, I reaffirm my position that preserving and protecting environments is both governments and people`s responsibility and we all should take care of our globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the protection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is the
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
responsibility, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is in charge of this kind of activity. I believe both should take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
and the environment.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can do a lot to conserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their power to protect it, is more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of limitations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
staff and budget.
For instance
, individuals can
be decreased
the demands for plastic as a main source of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unrecyclable
substance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
by lessening their usage of plastic products,
in other words
, they can bring their bag for shopping
instead
of using a plastic bag.
Moreover
, individuals can protect mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
by avoiding littering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
especially
when they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
and where there is no bin and
also
motivate and educate their children to behave like that.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
also
have a tremendous effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. They can promote programs that learn their citizens to be more friendly with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Also
, they should
be allocated
and legislated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
laws and fines for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, manufactures and industries, polluting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
or force the industries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with pollution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
far off the cities.
Also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
allocate top-notch standards for motoring vehicles as the main source of gas emission and air pollution.
Moreover
, they can contribute to international treatments such as Paris treatment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a schedule to decrease their emission or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
to do that.

In conclusion
, I reaffirm my position that preserving and protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environments
is both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
responsibility and
we all should take care of our globe.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay is protecting the environment governments duty or people? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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