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Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to workindependently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v.2

Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to workindependently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 2
Work is an important part of our lives. No matter where we are or what we do, we cannot escape our responsibilities in school or at work. Some people believe that it is more important to be able to work in a group while others disagree. In my view, though both skills are important, the most successful people know how to work independently for two very important reasons. First, you don’t always have a group to depend on. The benefits of being able to work in a group are obvious, but most of the things we do in life require us to do it alone. Without this ability, it’s very hard to do things well. For example, when I was in university, I took a physics class. The professor who taught the class was good, but he wasn’t effective. It was hard to follow his lectures. Many students in the class, including me, formed study groups. We worked together in the library as a group. It was great. We learned a lot. However, I would study by myself afterwards too. It was important because I needed to really master it for the test. After the course I learned, that the students who focused only on group work didn’t do as well as those that also worked alone. When students had to take the test, they had to do it alone. They couldn’t depend on another’s idea or help. This experience taught me that the ability to work independently is much more important. Second, an independent mind comes from independent work. When you work in a group, you have to be part of the group. Sometimes, you give up some ideas or focus on what other group members want. This takes away your sense of independence. For example, I read a book on psychology a few weeks ago. It was an interesting book that talked about how groups influence people. The author provided an example about a jury in a court of law. I learned that there is a lot of pressure to agree in a jury. Most people follow others who state their opinion. She stated that when only one person disagreed with the group, many other people would follow. In other words, most people don’t say what they feel unless someone else does. This is a natural result of group work: few people lead others. Consequently, most people learn to follow and not lead. Since success often results from strong leaders and independent minds, this book helped show me that the ability to work in a group is not as important as the ability to work alone. In sum, we must know how to work both in a group and by ourselves to do well in life, but the ability to work independently is more important. Not only does it help you succeed with more common work that you must do alone, but it also helps you develop the independent mind that is essential for success. We should all spend at least some time working alone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. No matter where we are or what we do, we
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
cannot


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
escape
our responsibilities in school or at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is more
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important


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
while others disagree. In my view, though both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
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are


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, the most successful
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people
know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
independently
for two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
reasons
.

First
, you don’t always have a
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group
to depend on. The benefits of being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
a


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
group
are obvious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of the things we do in life require us to do it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. Without
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this


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ability
, it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to do things well.
For example
, when I was in university, I took a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
physics


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
class
. The professor who taught the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he wasn’t effective. It was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
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to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
follow
his lectures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, including me, formed study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. We
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
worked


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
together
in the library as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. It was great. We learned a lot.
However
, I would study by

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
myself
afterwards too. It was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I needed to
really
master it for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
. After

the course I learned, that the students who focused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
didn’t do
as well
as

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
those
that
also
worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. When students had to take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, they had to do it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. They

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
couldn
’t depend on another’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. This experience taught me that the ability to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
independently
is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Second, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. When you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
you


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
to be part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, you give up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
or focus on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
group

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
members
want. This takes away your sense of independence.
For example
, I read a book
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
on


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
psychology
a few weeks ago. It was an interesting book that talked about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
influence


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
. The author provided an example about a jury in a court of law. I learned that there
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
lot of pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
in a jury. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow others who state their opinion. She

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
stated
that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one person disagreed with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would follow.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t say what they feel unless someone else does. This is a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
natural


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
: few
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people
lead others.
Consequently
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn to follow and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
not
lead. Since success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results from strong leaders and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
minds, this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
book


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
me that the ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is not as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as the ability to work

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
alone
.

In sum, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
both in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and by ourselves to do well in life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
independently
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you succeed with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
more


common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
mind that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
essential for success. We should all spend at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Mistakes

IELTS essay Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to workindependently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
32 paragraphs
507 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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