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Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to workindependently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v.1

Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to workindependently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 1
Nowadays, a significant amount of money is spent on the maintenance of old structures in many cities. Some people believe that the same amount may be utilized for other infrastructure projects instead of the above. I disagree with this view. In this essay, I shall explain why the budget to be spent for preserving and maintaining old buildings and monuments of cities should not be curtailed. The roadside buildings in older cities are usually stone structures that represent the culture and heritage of that place. Many of them are in poor condition. Even so, in my opinion, they should be restored because these buildings are strongly attached to the history of the city. If they are demolished, a part of the history will also die out and it is a national loss. On the other hand, maintaining buildings of historical value in good condition is a great way to bring tourism to the city. The tourism generates new employment opportunities and revenue. A part of this revenue may be utilized for new infrastructure projects like better highway connectivity, new housing schemes etc. These infrastructure projects may also provide a hassle-free experience of the city tourists. For example, good metro train connectivity to the oldest part of a heavily populated city will ensure better infrastructure and it will promote tourism as well. Having said that, those buildings that are beyond repair should definitely be demolished and new structures should be built in their place. Allowing them to stay in their dilapidated state poses serious threat to life and property. To conclude, old structures and monuments tell us about the history and time-journey of the city. Their maintenance and preservation shall enhance the reputation of the city and create employment opportunities and revenue. Even so, buildings that cannot be restored should be destroyed.
Nowadays, a significant amount of money
is spent
on the maintenance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the same amount may
be utilized
for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
projects
instead
of the above. I disagree with this view. In this essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the budget to
be spent
for preserving and maintaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and monuments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
should not
be curtailed
.

The roadside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
usually
stone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
that represent the culture and heritage of that place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them are in poor condition. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in my opinion, they should
be restored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
strongly
attached to the history of the city. If they
are demolished
, a part of the history will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out and it is a national loss.
On the other hand
, maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
of historical value in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition is a great way to bring tourism to the city. The tourism generates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
employment opportunities and revenue. A part of this revenue may
be utilized
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
projects like better highway connectivity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
housing schemes etc. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
projects may
also
provide a hassle-free experience of the city tourists.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
metro train connectivity to the oldest part of a
heavily
populated city will ensure better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
and it will promote tourism
as well
.

Having said that, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that are beyond repair should definitely
be demolished
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
should
be built
in their place. Allowing them to stay in their dilapidated state poses serious threat to life and property.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
and monuments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about the history and time-journey of the city. Their maintenance and preservation shall enhance the reputation of the city and create employment opportunities and revenue. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that cannot
be restored
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to workindependently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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