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Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. v. 3
Due to the high rate of divorce, a substantial proportion of people claim that the minimum age at which person is allowed by to marry should be 21. In my opinion, this is my sentiments exactly because that may reduce the divorce rate. One of the primary cause to joining matrimony later is the maturity level. To enumerate, whilst the couples get older, they not only reach maturity but also gain considerable experience. They think wisely and confront with their problems successfully as an inevitable consequence of reaching maturity. Moreover, by getting married at 21 or over, the married couples will be responsible and understand each other because they know their obligation toward themselves and their family, so they will live an absolutely delighted life with each other. As a result, the separation between married people will be decreased. On the other hand, marriage earlier before 21 has numerous disadvantages. First, the likelihood of separation could rise dramatically since due to the lack of compatibility, which contributes to incurring heavy losses. For example, at that young age, the young married couple could not comprehend that marriage has many obligations and responsibilities, so this leads to raising many issues. Second, financial insatiability could be created since they still in the first stage of their career path. Thus, they are not able to meet family needs. In conclusion, I agree people can marry when they are at least 21. This is because if people married young, the divorce among married couples will rise, but when they are older, they will be grown and can avoid troubles.
Due to the high rate of divorce, a substantial proportion of
people
claim that the minimum age at which person is
allowed
by to marry should be 21. In my opinion, this is my sentiments exactly
because
that may
reduce
the divorce rate.

One of the primary cause to joining matrimony later is the maturity level. To enumerate, whilst the
couples
get
older, they not
only
reach maturity
but
also
gain considerable experience. They
think
wisely
and confront with their problems
successfully
as an inevitable consequence of reaching maturity.
Moreover
, by getting married at 21 or over, the married
couples
will be responsible and understand each other
because
they know their obligation toward themselves and their family,
so
they will
live
an
absolutely
delighted life with each other.
As a result
, the separation between married
people
will
be decreased
.

On the other hand
, marriage earlier
before
21 has numerous disadvantages.
First
, the likelihood of separation could rise
dramatically
since due to the lack of compatibility, which contributes to incurring heavy losses.
For example
, at that young age, the young married
couple
could not comprehend that marriage has
many
obligations and responsibilities,
so
this leads to raising
many
issues. Second, financial insatiability could
be created
since they
still
in the
first
stage of their career path.
Thus
, they are not able to
meet
family needs.

In conclusion
, I
agree
people
can marry when they are at least 21. This is
because
if
people
married young, the divorce among married
couples
will rise,
but
when they are older, they will
be grown
and can avoid troubles.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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