Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. v. 1
Nowadays, the issue of bringing up children to become a successful citizen has become important. As we are living in a competitive world, some people argue that offspring should be taught how to compete while others believe that they should be taught to cooperate. In my opinion, both these virtu are more essential for them to become a useful civilian. The first and foremost is that competitions motivate children to enhance their performance. Giving rewards to students for their achievement encourage them to make more efforts to defeat other competitors. In this way, juveniles are more likely to prepare well for other competitions including university education and employment. For instance, a recent survey conducted by London university has shown that there is a strong competition for university entrance exams as well as to get opportunity for better jobs. Secondly, when youngsters start any business, they have to compete with another businessman to succeed in life. Undoubtedly, successful person is useful adult in society. To justify my further views, there are many fields where cooperation is required. Juveniles can be taught this virtue in many activities like sports or any other game. For instance, when they have to play team sports such as cricket, hockey, football and so on then they have to cooperate with their team members. Finally, when teachers give team work to students then they also can be taught how to manage and cooperate with each other. To put it in a nutshell, today's era is highly competitive. So both of the virtue is crucial for human being to become an ideal and useful citizen in the society as well as country.
Nowadays, the issue of bringing up children to
become
a successful citizen has
become
important
. As we are living in a competitive world,
some
people
argue that offspring should
be taught
how to compete while others believe that they should
be taught
to cooperate. In my opinion, both
these virtu
are more essential for them to
become
a useful civilian.

The
first
and foremost is that competitions motivate children to enhance their performance. Giving rewards to students for their achievement encourage them to
make
more efforts to defeat
other
competitors. In this way, juveniles are more likely to prepare well for
other
competitions including university education and employment.

For instance
, a recent survey conducted by London university has shown that there is a strong competition for university entrance exams
as well
as to
get
opportunity for better jobs.
Secondly
, when youngsters
start
any business, they
have to
compete with another businessman to succeed in life.
Undoubtedly
, successful person is useful adult in society.

To justify my
further
views, there are
many
fields where cooperation
is required
. Juveniles can
be taught
this virtue in
many
activities like sports or any
other
game.
For instance
, when they
have to
play team sports such as cricket, hockey, football and
so
on then they
have to
cooperate with their team members.
Finally
, when teachers give team work to students then they
also
can
be taught
how to manage and cooperate with each other.

To put it in a nutshell,
today
's era is
highly
competitive.
So
both of the virtue is crucial for human being to
become
an ideal and useful citizen in the society
as well
as country.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts