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Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.1

Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1
In the modern world, there are more cars on the roads than the people they can carry. As a result of which, many metropolitan cities face big traffic jams. According to me, the given statement is 100% valid, many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. This essay will discuss about the same and some measures that the governments can take to tackle this problem. We cannot solve the problem of traffic jams unless we change the mindset of the people. Everyone wants to own their private car and there is nothing wrong in that, but we should think of the environment and other people too. For example, People travel from the same city to their offices in different cars. They have the option to travel in a single car, but they choose to travel in their own cars. People should use public transport whenever possible for travelling. Secondly, due to the poor condition of the public transport and rude behaviour of transport staff, people choose to travel by their own vehicle. The government should perform the maintenance of the public transport regularly. Along with that, the government should spread the awareness about the threats of using more cars every day. In conclusion, there is no denying the fact that the cities are now becoming 'one big traffic jam'. We can tackle that problem only, if we act fast and act together. All the initiatives taken by the government will go in vain if we won't change our lifestyle and treat the environment as our homes.
In the modern world, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the roads than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they can carry.
As a result
of which,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement is 100% valid,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the world are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
'one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam'. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
same and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can take to tackle this problem.

We cannot solve the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams unless we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mindset of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the environment and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
too.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
from the same city to their offices in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. They have the option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
whenever possible for travelling.

Secondly
, due to the poor condition of the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
and rude
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
staff,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should perform the maintenance of the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
regularly
. Along with that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spread the awareness about the threats of using more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
every day.

In conclusion
, there is no denying the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming 'one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam'. We can tackle that problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, if we act
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and act together. All the initiatives taken by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will go in vain if we won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our lifestyle and treat the environment as our homes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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