Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1
Nowadays, we can see science everywhere around us. New inventions make the lives of the people easier. On other hand doctors are really important persons for us. Doctors are the person who help us to get well when we become sick. They save our lives. In my opinion, inventions and doctors are incomparable both have different roles in our lives. Lots of inventions have become very important part of our lives. For example, aero planes by which we can travel and reach to other countries earlier as compare to another means of transportation. Computers which are the most amazing invention. We are totally now become dependent on computers, it has lots of benefits and is useful in many ways. In offices, shopping malls, schools and homes, people use computers to save lots of data, documents, calculations and doing assignments. Furthermore, smart phones are also one of the most important inventions for peoples. People found it more convenient for them in carrying as well as lots of applications are available due to which they can contact with their family, relatives and friends. Moreover, there are lots of things that are invented by inventors that had made house work also easy for example, home appliances, washing machines, refrigerators etc. On other hand doctors are most knowledgeable persons that can treat different diseases. Doctors study a lot and always want to get rid of illness from a patient. If there will be no doctors then nobody can protect the sick people and mortality rate increase extremely. There are lots of procedures also done to protect the lives. Doctors perform different screening and diagnose disease properly. In conclusion, both have different roles and values in our lives, without doctor’s human beings cannot survive healthy or we can say that no one can be there to protect from illnesses. Obviously, without inventors new inventions cannot take place and there would be no new unique discovery people would be able to see.
Nowadays, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
science everywhere around us. New inventions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easier. On other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
persons for us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctors
are the person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well when we become sick. They save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. In my opinion, inventions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are incomparable both have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
roles in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Lots of inventions have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For example
, aero
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
by which we can travel and reach to other countries earlier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to another means of transportation. Computers which are the most amazing invention. We are
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become dependent on computers, it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of benefits and is useful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. In offices, shopping malls, schools and homes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of data, documents, calculations and doing assignments.

Furthermore
, smart phones are
also
one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
inventions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
found it more convenient for them in carrying
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of applications are available due to which they can contact with their family, relatives and friends.
Moreover
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of things that
are invented
by inventors that had made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
work
also
easy
for example
, home appliances, washing machines, refrigerators etc.

On other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are
Did you mean "the most"?
most
knowledgeable persons that can treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
diseases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctors
study a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
and always want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of illness from a patient. If there will be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
then nobody can protect the sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and mortality rate increase
extremely
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of procedures
also
done to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctors
perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
screening and diagnose disease
properly
.

In conclusion
, both have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
roles and values in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor’s
human beings cannot survive
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
healthy or
we can say that no one can be there to protect from illnesses.
Obviously
, without inventors new inventions cannot take place and there would be no new unique discovery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts