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In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative. v.1

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative. v. 1
Nowadays, the composition of the family is different from what it used to be. Also, this change includes family responsibility. This essay will discuss the changes that are happening, while making a case that these changes are advantageous. Firstly, everything is prone to one for of change or the other, and the family is not an exception. It can be observed in recent years that financial obligations in a home is jointly shared by the couple. This was not the case many years back, as this responsibility was solely on the man. For example, in a survey by the central bank of Nigeria, (C. B. N. ), it was observed that the number of joint accounts opened by couples has risen by 70% in the last 20years. And such accounts are used to finance the home. Furthermore, most women are now career mothers, making house wife almost non existent. Case in point, the ministry of woman affairs in Nigeria conducted a survey and revealed that 80% of married women have their own career, as against 25% 10years ago. In my opinion, I believe these changes are positive because, financially, more money is brought into the home and this will relieve the husband of some monetary problems. For instance, the bills in the home can divided. While the father foots the children's education, the mother can pay the house rent. Although, being a mother and having a full time job can be a herculean task for the woman. I believe the financial reward outweighs this set back. In conclusion, family arrangement and responsibilities have changed over the years owing to the fact that most women have full time employment and contributes financially to the home. It is also evident that these changes are advantageous.
Nowadays, the composition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be.
Also
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
responsibility. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
that are happening, while making a case that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are advantageous.

Firstly
, everything is prone to one for of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
or the other, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is not an exception. It can
be observed
in recent years that financial obligations in a home is
jointly
shared by the couple. This was not the case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years back, as this responsibility was
solely
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
For example
, in a survey by the central bank of Nigeria, (C. B. N.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
, it
was observed
that the number of joint accounts opened by couples has risen by 70% in the last 20years. And such accounts are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to finance the home.
Furthermore
, most women are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
career mothers, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
wife almost
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non existent
. Case in point, the ministry of woman affairs in Nigeria conducted a survey and revealed that 80% of married women have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career, as against 25% 10years ago.

In my opinion, I believe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
financially
, more money
is brought
into the home and this will relieve the husband of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
monetary problems.
For instance
, the bills in the home can divided. While the father foots the children's education, the mother can pay the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent.

Although, being a mother and having a full time job can be a
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Herculean".
herculean
task for the woman. I believe the financial reward outweighs this set back.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
arrangement and responsibilities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the years owing to the fact that most women have full time employment and contributes
financially
to the home. It is
also
evident that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are advantageous.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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