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Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 9
In today's world, the relevance of doctors and inventors cannot be over-emphasized. Although some people argue that doctors are more important than inventors in our society. I agree to this statement, and I believe my points will be discussed in this essay and also instances from my knowledge. On the one hand, people think inventors are not as significant as doctors in the society and I agree. For instance, a group of researchers in Australia released a survey about doctors' duties and how they are perceived amongst us, this argument is based on the fact that doctors are committed to saving lives. Furthermore, if doctors do not utilize these invented equipments, the inventions go to waste. Nonetheless, even though these instruments play a major role in helping doctors carry out their responsibilities. It still does not surpass what doctors do round the clock daily in ensuring we are healthy and alive. On the other hand, others believe that inventors are more relevant to the nation than doctors. For example, christian Albert, an inventor who invented many equipments which are still useful today, despite having improved some, spent a greater part of his life creating. My point is, if there are no trained personnels, of what use are the end products? . We can not undermine their efforts notwithstanding, but inventions alone are not what we need. In conclusion, opinions may vary concerning who is more important to us between doctors and inventors. In my opinion, I consider doctors to be more beneficial than inventors because doctors swore to save lives and without humans, what purpose do they serve. Finally, humanity will not be complete without the medical world.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, the relevance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
cannot be over-emphasized.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
in our society. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement, and I believe my points will
be discussed
in this essay and
also
instances from my knowledge.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
are not as significant as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
in the society and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
For instance
, a group of researchers in Australia released a survey about doctors' duties and how they
are perceived
amongst us, this argument
is based
on the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are committed
to saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
do not utilize these invented equipments, the inventions go to waste. Nonetheless,
even though
these instruments play a major role in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
carry out their responsibilities. It
still
does not surpass what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
do round the clock daily in ensuring we are healthy and alive.

On the other hand
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
are more relevant to the nation than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
.
For example
, christian Albert, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventor
who invented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
equipments which are
still
useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, despite having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, spent a greater part of his life creating. My point is, if there are no trained
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "personnel", the plural form of the noun 'personnel'?
personnels
, of what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
products?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
We can not undermine their efforts notwithstanding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
inventions alone are not what we need.

In conclusion
, opinions may vary concerning who is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to us between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
. In my opinion, I consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
to be more beneficial than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inventors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
swore to save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and without humans, what purpose do they serve.
Finally
, humanity will not be complete without the medical world.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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