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Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v.2

Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v. 2
It is irrefutable that use of internet has been increasing day by day for personal as well as professional work and with high use of the internet crime rate has also increased. Due to this, it causes many problems in society. There are several crimes involved, which cause cybercrime. Whereas, there are numerous solutions available for avoiding this problem. This essay will discuss both the points in detail. To begin with, in this technological world, there are various uses for the internet and people use internet for their daily routine deeds. Some people take advantage of the internet and doing some unethical activities such as hacking websites, accounts and spreading fake news. For talking about the first point, hacking is greatest threat which is faced by the internet glob right now. For instance, many bank accounts have been hacked by hackers and stealing money from the account. Another point is that hackers gained access to celebrities and politicians’ social media and doing illegal activities which affect their privacy. Lastly, terrorists are using social media and world wide web, for doing heinous crimes and various drug dealers sell their product via internet source. Hence, gradually all these types of cyber crime have been increased which cause serious effects in society. Moreover, for a break these types of activities, the government should make a stringent rules and laws for the protection of citizens’ privacy and security. For example, many countries such as USA, UK made a cyber security law for prevention of these types of activities. In addition, individuals should be aware about cyber crime and not share any their personal details with anyone like their bank account number, user id and password. Furthermore, the cyber crime department should find out criminal and give punishment to them. In conclusion, today’s modern world, internet users has been augmented dramatically and with them criminal activities similarly increased. So, government and individual should take necessary action for prevents these types of events.
It is irrefutable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet has been increasing day by day for personal
as well
as professional work and with high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has
also
increased. Due to this, it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in society. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
involved, which cause cybercrime. Whereas, there are numerous solutions available for avoiding this problem. This essay will discuss both the points in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in this technological world, there are various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
for the internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet for their daily routine deeds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take advantage of the internet and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unethical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as hacking websites,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounts
and spreading fake news. For talking about the
first
point, hacking is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the greatest".
greatest
threat which
is faced
by the internet glob right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bank
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounts
have
been hacked
by hackers and stealing money from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
account
. Another point is that hackers gained access to celebrities and politicians’ social media and doing illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which affect their privacy.
Lastly
, terrorists are using social media and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
, for doing heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and various drug dealers sell their product via internet source.
Hence
,
gradually
all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
have
been increased
which cause serious effects in society.

Moreover
, for a break these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and laws for the protection of citizens’ privacy and security.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries such
A determiner is probably missing here: "as the USA".
as USA
, UK made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
security law for prevention of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
In addition
, individuals should be aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and not share
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their personal" or "any personal"?
any their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
with anyone like their bank
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
account
number, user id and password.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
department should find out criminal and give punishment to them.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, internet users has
been augmented
dramatically
and with them criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
similarly
increased.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individual should take necessary action for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Internet crime is increasing rapidly as more and more people around the world are accessing the internet. What are the worst internet crimes? How can they be preventend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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